Oh my

Is it okay for me to love you? I think if this hadn't happened we would still have been in nice shape as friends and a bit more, if we had been left alone. Please don't be stopped by false law. I want to do everything to make you happy, if allowed. If you don't care about me and you are free, please stop the entire thing and let me see you again to say good-bye. The stupid thing  is that I love you so much, I know it will hurt like Hell. But, I would never make a scene, I guess I have too much dignity for that.

As Dickens said, "you have been the last dream of my soul "

If you have no one, I would love to be your companion, your maid, your devoted servant, anyone. I sound as desperate as that woman, but she is not nice and hurts you. I never got a chance to see you without a spy in attendance. I was always treated so badly; I thought I could survive, though if you as my friend were there waiting at the end. This was the most difficult time of my life. Nothing good does this to a person. A sadist should not be in charge of people. Strange, how the thing that makes life a dream and floating on air, can make  life so agonizing too.

 All I can do is keep praying. 

While my heart and my head tell each other how much they love you.