I guess the problem is that the Court thing is coming up and I am feeling scared. I have been been beaten down for such a long time and endured so many disappointments and abuse, that I am weary. They want me sad and punished and I am, for doing nothing wrong. I feel so alone and abandoned. I am embarrassed that I have honest emotions. Most people do not need to endure it being made into a court thing and feeling ridiculed. I have been illustrated as a predator and the one person who could set things right, isn't. I don't know why. All I know is that I still care no matter what. But I am emotional. No one seems to act like I am human. I hurt like mad, but I also love like mad too.
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