Memory

 Memory Drawer~

My thoughts of you make me warm and happy
but by lingering in reverie too long, happiness slips away, like a fading sunset, and dark sadness moves silently in to take its place. It becomes engulfed in the vast emptiness of my soul.
You are gone.

It is a delicate balance that keeps me surviving. I need to know at what point my decadent indulgence in thoughts and remembrances of you becomes too much; crossing the fine line between Heaven and Hell. One step too far, and divine turns to despair.

I have a memory drawer in my mind that I on occasion, will allow myself to open and let the memories wash over me the way a sip of an aperitif will send a rush of warmth from my neck to my arms. But then reality hits me that you are no longer in my life, and maybe never will again, and tears run freely, and my heart feels like crumbling.

You were the joy of my existence, and the love in a sonnet
You made each breath have meaning and my life know truth
Your compassion was boundless, and you missed all my flaws
I must now slam the drawer, since the pain has become unbearable.
I will return again, when I feel the pain subsides to a manageable enough degree to allow me to open the memory drawer once again.

Until then, I send my love to you, and miss you each day, you delight of my life.

~Haviva

(c) HVM 2018