Trust

I ended up sending my mother quite a bit of food, so that relieves me. I am just worried about her sending me a mean letter saying she is upset with me. I just don't want her to go out. Before she said to me, "I'll just go out and catch it and be done with it!" I said, "no, you will be dead!" She hung up on me. Being the messenger is never easy. I had to tell my friend's family about the seriousness of her cancer after her surgery, instead of being sad, they screamed at me and called me a liar. Her K doctor told me that I could tell her, or not, that she only had a short time to live, around 6 months, but that he wasn't going to do it. I told her a lie and said she could get better and that the colostomy could be reversed. She ended up living 2 more years. I told her so many encouraging lies, that I felt bad wondering if I was doing the right thing. I wrote to Linus Pauling and he sent a vit C protocol for her and I got her the best vit C possible. He invited me to come to his lab, but when I did, I was told he had to be away. One of his colleagues gave me a lecture about how vit C worked against cancer cells. But, my friend gave the vit C back to me. She said she only wanted to follow her doctor's treatment for her. That was frustrating. She had to go back into surgery and I asked if they could apply the chemo directly to the cancer during surgery. I was told they did. It is such a big responsibility to have that kind of weight on one's shoulders. When she had a 105 temp in the ER, a cruel doctor said to her, "if you have a heart attack do you want us to try and save you, because the cancer is going to kill you anyway." What a monster. I saw her lose any fight in her after that. She gave away her belongings and died. She put such trust in doctors, but he so casually ended her life with his careless, mean words. I thought about her today and thought about the abject cruelty some people have in them and destroy lives without a second thought. 

We must be strong and RESIST! Then, they need to be punished to never do it again.

Don't let bad people cut you down. Stay strong and tough. We are not going to let them take our lives to make their disgusting, greedy hearts happy.  Never let anything stop you from seeking help!  I wish I had not moved so far away. I did not want them to frame me. I figured that what I had to do was tell everyone what I thought they were doing. They could not harm you and then get away without suspicion. I so dearly hope that you gave a statement and are free; it just doesn't seem like it, unless you were told to keep the fake r.o. going. I am in such pain from it, I wish they did not do that. As I said, "many times mental pain is more harmful and painful than physical pain." It has been such Hell, I cannot bring myself to go back over it, but I must for these derranged court hearings. I am surprised that I haven't slapped that man. The worst part was seeing you degraded and used, with me as the reason it was being done. I would rather kill myself, but then, I would not be able to get through it and do anything to stop it. I decided that you knew I would help you, so you picked me to be a friend. I didn't mind. I was already in love and nothing was going to discourage me. I just needed to understand everything, while being bombarded with cruel and humiliating emails. I had to stay strong and have faith in you. I did and I do. As you once said to me, "you know me better than that" when I stupidly doubted you about something. Never again. My faith is strong and trust you will do the best for me....as I will for you.