Personal Pain, Indifferent Abuse~

Wait 5 years through terror and abject abuse, 
barely hanging on 
and each day 
is a pelting shower of pure unrelenting agony 
and 
it hurts so bad that you ask God to
 "please, make it stop"
but God is too busy for you
so you manage through another 
devastating day
and wade somehow through 
yet another horrifying night 
of despair
then
at last
when the time to rejoice finally 
arrives,
you are rejected so hard
a knife could not be any more 
painful, 
then 
let me know how much you

still

feel 

like 

living.

~Haviva