I keep getting new members to my walking group. It breaks my heart, but I cannot bring myself to dissolve it.

All the wrong done to us both, should reduce any type of wait period. Brutality is never acceptable and should cancel any kind agreement.

No matter the time gone by, I will expose the bad people. The person who started it, should know they are on thin ice. I suspect you know that person very well. I think they should drop this and I will forgive, if not, I will hit them hard. If they work with me, I can be forgiving and generous in kindness; it is my nature....but it has an expiration date that is soon up.

The predators are running out of reasons, or lies to keep me restrained. They might as well stop and move their predatory sights elsewhere.

I want this over, so I can keep you safe and let you decide what you want to do. I think that I have been used to keep you under surveillance and at some danger, I am not sure. What I know is I feel uneasy with terrible people involved. I will fight like mad to end this. I will keep it under the light of knowledge, so that people know the story and know who would be suspected if they harm you. Someone said to me that I have told so many people what has gone on and by who, that they could not dare to hurt you. I know they have used my desire to know you personally as their reason to become involved for their own predatory reasons. I don't think they understood my tenacity and the depth of my love for you. I just want you to be able to decide your own desires. I want the predators gone. I will spread this far and wide. They did not clue me in on all the details and they did obvious false law and did all they could to hurt me, so I knew they wanted me out of the way to have their own way. That makes me extremely uncomfortable. Too much wrong has gone on for me to feel comfortable. There is much, much too wrong for me to give up. But, I need to keep telling people what I know and suspect, so they will be exposed and you will be safe.
My love is not temporary and it wants you safe and under your own control.

I feel sad and empty and alone.

Email I sent today re: this situation.

I wrote to all people I could find who participated.

When I put my story and poems "out there" and I tell everyone about beating a terrible cancer on the heels of my husband drowning, dealing with MS and my family history and tell everyone about the unfair and brutal treatment I received by Kaiser,  their law firm, attorneys, judges, etc and people who were supposed to help, but who instead betrayed me, I believe it will go viral. 

I don't want it to hurt anyone, but they need to learn from my terrible experience and not hurt people like me in the future. This has been an horrific experience and it must NEVER be done to ANYONE else!

I never did anything wrong, yet I have been treated like the worst criminal on Earth, past and present. 

It has been cruel and relentless.

I did not deserve ANY of this and those who willingly participated and showed no mercy, need to learn how to treat people and listen to them. Yes, I am angry, but more sad. 

I WILL FINALLY HAVE A VOICE!

Sincerely,

Cheryl Petrovich

650 490 6550

P.O. Box 120

Gualala, CA 95445 

I bought this strange little bottle of dish/hand soap and the container was made from ocean debris! It has bumps on it and gives me thoughts of sea urchins, so very appropriate.

Ages ago, when my husband was alive, we went to a beach in HMB and it was so littered with trash, I just could not enjoy myself, so we turned it into a trash clearing day. I felt so proud at the end of the day. How can people be so thoughtless? When I was a little kid, across the street there was an anti-littering law sign. For the longest time, I thought it said Art Linkletter law. Yes, I was "a stable genuis" too. 🤣

As children, my friends and I collected dead animals and had elaborate funerals for them.  We hoped they would rise up and become alive again....like the movie about the cat with 9 lives. Other times, we wandered the neighborhood at night carrying candles. Yes, small town, small entertainment. I made May day baskets and hung them on people's doorknobs. The woman next door screamed at me for it. Geez.

I used to have a considerable collection of cookbooks, but when I was moving, I gave many away. I was figuring I would keep at least the James Beard sauces, French Laundry and Julia Child. I am not even sure where the others besides the French Laundry ended up.

It has finally sunk in that movers just think of your stuff as their right to steal, or break. I have had to just forget disappointment over belongings; it has happened so much. Each blow takes me down for awhile, but I just bounce back. Having the Foo dog stolen still hurts and my R.R. towed away makes me nervous, because I have not paid the guy fully. I am afraid he is going to junk it and toss the contents. Hopefully he will wait. He seemed nice.

It's better to "travel light" anyway, I guess, but it should be MY choice, not have it made "FOR" ME!

I know I was being over the top emotionally, but when you figure it is only me to myself, I can be honest, silly, or overly emotional. It has been so long it is like people who have been stranded, or jailed, or something dramatic and they talk about what they will eat when they get home, I think of my deprivation, which is you and after all this time, I have allowed myself to get a bit more familiar, or whatever one would say about it.

I am just surviving the best I can. You are my dream. Thinking of you and my prayers really help me hold on. I have been so sad. (Angry too).

I was outside awhile ago, entertaining the angels and asking for support. I saw a single bright light, I figured it was the northern star, so I made a wish....guess what it was? Yeah, no surprise, it was for your safety and happiness.
Maybe I will be able to do it in person, someday. I hope so, so much.

5 am and I was laughing watching Amy Schumer.....now, I guess I'll go to bed....

What will I do when I am able to speak with you?
Will I faint?
Will I be struck dumb?
Will I gab into the night?
Will I embarrass myself somehow?

All you need to know is how much I love you.

I would like to know you for the rest of my life and see your face as I fade away.....what better departure could one have?

I have to admit that when I was in a tech start-up it was exciting. I went to so many parties and meeting everyone from Willie Brown, Gavin Newsom, to concert pianists, to other tech industry hot shots etc. I loved it, but it was tiring too. People could be so irresponsible. ...

I love my French Laundry cookbook. I don't use it, but it is a part of me for when I do...with you.

May I take care of you?

I have been so closed in, that I am aching to get out and inhale you and live.

If I am with someone who enjoys a little silly, I can be a tiny bit outrageous....but I can be proper too.
I am so completely in love with you.

I wish you could remove the shackles and come and have fun. Life won't start until I see you again.

I'd love to camp under the stars with you.
I can feel it.

I was just telling someone about going to Jeremiah Tower's restaurant, Stars, in San Francisco, then, voila! A program on Netflix called, "Jeremiah Tower the Last Magnificent".
I kind of made a bit of a fool of myself when I ordered champagne and they brought a split of Veuve Clicquot. I asked the waiter, "how do I get a grown up one of these?"
(As if I could get a large bottle for $25.00!)

Lovely restaurant. My friend and I would go to SF twice a year for our birthdays and do it up big, fancy hotel, 5 star (etc) restaurants....limo, opera...etc. kind of a bucket list , I guess. It really was pretty fun and silly.

I love you.

Love and Flowers-

Flowers of love
don't cause
sadness
or regret

They imbue
feelings of joy
and a path
to forget

A floral hug delivered
by a porter unknown
in a fragrant display
to soften a moan

No matter the symbol
or even the hue
I'd welcome a gift of
a posey, or two

To me they say love
of a former gone
day
but I'd rather see you
and hear what you'd
say

My life is so lonely
and making it
do
is a challenging role
after savoring you

To dream of more days
and unfettered chances
brings cheer to my
heart and beats into
dances.

Haviva-

(c) HVM 2019

Email I sent today:

To Those Persons Involved:

You know, before all this absurd brutality to me over my doctor happened, I believed in our officials and justice system. No longer. Dr. Lukaszewicz talked to me about becoming friends, so when people say all kinds of absurd false things, it annoys me, and makes me lose respect for them. He as well as myself have suffered. He and I are the victims of insane cruelty by attorneys, the court, three judges and your office now too. For what purpose? Punishment? How Draconian! Medieval! What is the big mystery? It is a small thing of two people wanting to have more time to talk about things of interest, beyond the time frame and scrutiny of his work. I fail to understand why the necessity for legal crap done in his name actually because he came to my surgery at my request, but done under the guise of some faux salacious accusation and gifts. The last time I saw him had been 97 days before! Then he came to my surgery at my request and a week later, voila! A TRO!

I have not spoken to Dr. Lukaszewicz directly for over 3 years.

I suffer over this disgrace done to me each day. It hurts my emotions and enjoyment of life. I have done nothing to deserve this awful treatment. Nothing. 

I have been screamed at, terrorized by Judge Novak, lied to, berated, had my rights suppressed as well as my testimony and evidence striken, or ignored. She derided and mocked my mental health. No one seemed to care if I lived or died. I was treated roughly by a deputy taking me to jail, taunted by a nurse who offered me something to relieve MS symptoms in jail (nausea and dizziness) but later came back saying I had to vomit first. How could I vomit when I had not eaten since lunch the day before? Ignorant people! MS symptoms have nothing to do with stomach contents! I was kept from getting an attorney through any means, but given one (Charlie Smith IV) by Guasco merely to babysit me and yell, "SHUT UP!" in my face, not to do any legal work. Who paid him? I did hire an attorney earlier, but somehow Guasco caught wind and diverted him to his side. I guess the pressure of Guasco was too much and he kicked me to the curb. Then later Guasco had Judge Novak threaten me if I did not take the second one, Charlie Smith IV again, I would go to jail. She cruelly threatened me with jail and when I put my head down and cried, she just kept grinding away at me. Attorney, Laura van Note was there. If she is not a liar, then she could tell what happened. She did not have her "client" there with her. He wasn't there to see me handcuffed and chained around the waist and brutally marched away either. It think it would have hurt his kind heart too much. 

The deputy taking me to jail, kept yelling at me to hurry up, but my legs are problematic with circulation issues, so they are heavy and hard to move well, plus my MS can make me fall. He made me get into a van with no assistance. It was too high for me and I had no handle to help pull me in. I found a little metal ring attached to the front seat and hooked my small finger through it and tried to help pull me in, but I managed to hurt my leg as I tried harder to get in. (I saw him pull his ample body in using the steering wheel. )

I was strip searched and had everything taken away. I was given clothes that were at least 2 sizes too small and uncomfortable. My cell was dirty and I was cold, there was blood on the floor. I was depressed. I didn't want to eat. Two female deputies said they worried about me. They said I looked so sad. (Who wouldn't be sad?) They gave me two books to read. (They were a comforting gift from an angel and were of much significance. My angel is quite intelligent....and we have the same tastes....)

I got 1 hour out of my cell. I cleaned the entire common area, plus the shower that had to have housed the world's largest hair ball in the drain!! I kept pulling it out of the drain with the mop, like one of those cheesy magicians who pull out seemingly endless colorful scarves from someone's mouth, or cleavage. A smart ass deputy asked when I could come to his house to clean. I did not even leave enough time to clean my own cell. It is ironic to come from the most ancient noble family and end up cleaning a filthy common area of a jail. I am sure grave held bodies of ancestors were spinning wildly. 

I just want to know why all of the lies and torment were allowed and looked at as permissible. I want to know why illegal behavior had been given a pass. It potentially had the power to cause my death, how can anyone with even a drop of decency, respect for the law and compassion ignore that?  

Why am I not worthy of civil rights? DUE PROCESS? I gave gifts of gratitude and was terrorized into writing emails as part of a plan to later use them as evidence that was never shown, or shared. Why is a victim treated like a criminal? Why is a caring doctor represented by the lowest, most vile scourge of officers of the court, who gives it as much respect as a teenager respects his parents for taking away the car keys as punishment? Guasco thumbs his nose at court rules, decorum and flies in the face of decent behavior, while lying to a judge with his most innocent face, then stepping outside and screaming vulgarly at me and then running away when I tried to speak to him. He is not only disgusting, but a coward too. He uses any means, but the truth to get his crooked way. Only Satan could out do his evil heart. 

How in the world was I ever thought of in lower terms than that demon from Hell?

Our judicial system was never meant to be run like this (with): Forgeries, bribes, lies, torture, mental torment, attempts to harm a person with medical issues, taunting, heckling by a judge, then the cruel attorney telling the victim that it all could go on forever, merely because I gave gifts to a wonderful person and doctor and wanted to be his friend? Does that make sense? A psychiatrist was hired to get rid of me...and she DID!!! Doesn't that mean I was a victim, that it was all a set up? Mr. Souza confessed to me that she was hired to get rid of me as Dr. Lukaszewicz's patient...with a witness listening! She (Marija M. Petrovic) gaslighted me, put false diagnoses in my chart, humiliated me and made me feel shame for doing nothing wrong! She tried to get me to kill myself! 

I KNOW right from wrong and this was VERY WRONG! How can I not worry for Dr. Lukaszewicz's safety when he is subjected to people like Guasco and Petrovic and their assistant, the cruel Mr. Souza? What is their end goal? They all seem to have a great interest in Dr. Lukaszewicz for some personal wants. They forge his signature frequently, lie about his whereabouts. Guasco put him behind walls to keep him mentally bound as well as physically. What would you imagine predators who use someone as their scapegoat want? Not hard to imagine.

This was illegal, what was done to me. It was also illegal what was done to Dr. Lukaszewicz too. It was made to make us hate each other and to stop me from helping him. They create panic where none exists, so they can claim they need to guard him. This entire thing was made up to make Dr. Lukaszewicz their prey, with me as scapegoat and distraction.

Was making an appointment with me on a day off done to tell Guasco I would be in the area, so he could be on high alert and pretend to guard Dr. Lukaszewicz for his "safety" from me? What the hell is going on? That is not the way to behave! What other reason was there for doing it to me? Do you feel justified somehow? I would love an answer, but only the word coward comes to mind, so that's a no. I have more courage in my stubby toe than any of you has in the entirety of you. 

No honesty, decency, or compassion left in the world! Just lies, predators and greed. 

I only believe in Dr. Lukaszewicz, not you, not the court, not attorneys and most certainly: not JUDGES! THEY ARE ALL CRIMINALS! Money is their justice. 

I will write about this and I will expose all involved who treated me badly. I will use REAL names. I have been writing poems about my situation and chronicling what happened to me and will publish it all. It will harm many including: Kaiser, judges, etc. I will pull no punches. It is a unique story, so it should be popular and eye opening.This has been an egregious affront to all the moral and legal standards of society. 

People who wanted to punish me for no wrong doing will not do well, especially those of the social climbing ilk, or those who want to keep their jobs, or reputation. I have no worry for my part, because, unlike they, I tell the truth!

Sincerely,

Cheryl Petrovich

Someone made an appointment to supposedly discuss my "case" but twice they set it up for their day off. First time they canceled, second time they were cancelling, they sent me an email @ 5:45 am, so I did not see it. I drove 4 hours, got there early, sat in the waiting room for 1.5 hrs, then was told it was the person's day off on Wed. Why would someone make an appt. On their day off?(2 times?) Makes no sense. I had my hopes up. I am thinking I was betrayed. I am still angry. It took me until 3:30 am to get home. I kept nearly dozing off.  It was pretty unpleasant. There was fog and rain. I can no longer even trust people who should be trustworthy. What is the big mystery?

At least I was able to see my son and his lady and have dinner together at our default restaurant, FJL in Mt. View. It was fun. Then I stopped at the church in Menlo to light candles.

I hate it when horrible people speak for you and say ugly things to me. Why do they think you would be so cruel and mean? Why do people denigrate you that way? There is no need for cruelty and it is wrong for them to represent you that way. They get frustrated when I don't believe what they say. I know you better than that. I know that if you had bad news to tell me, you would find a compassionate way to say it, not scream it in my face like some P.O.W. camp interrogator.  I am sure what they have done to me is far from legal and with the intention of hurting me. I just look at them in disbelief and wonder why they are doing it. I have never given any indication of a reason as to why they feel they need to behave in such an abysmal manner.

That horrible man seems absolutely desperate as if he is expecting a big payoff if he makes me fall apart. It just feels like they all want to pull at you as if they feel like they are tearing apart a pinata. It is disgusting. The desperation is so evident. Why do they think I am anything like them?

They have no respect for you. I do not like them or the people who condone their methods. I think it is terrible the way they represent you as if you were like all of them. Why do they think they own you? It is why I worry about you.  They are devious, sadistic, manipulative people. I cannot even imagine them as having normal lives. They are just life sized weapons of brutality that are put back in their boxes at night after a long day of breaking people down, demoralizing them.

I hope you do not allow them near them you, if it is possible. They act as if I am doing bad things trying to "force myself" on you. How? I sit at home doing nothing, praying for you. I protest their brutality, but who wouldn't? I know what they want from you and it isn't love.

I would say, give them everything they want and escape to freedom, but that isn't my call. Also, it would make me look like I am in with them.

If you came here with only your sweet smile and beautiful eyes, I would give you all I have and care for you forever. I am always going to love and be in love with you. But, all I can do is hope and pray that whatever keeps you safe and happy is what happens to you. It hurts my heart that such a rare and amazing person is treated like property. People don't appreciate you, because they are low and only know what their eyes of greed tell them. Your soul is invisible to them. Predators are rarely known for respect, just desperation for what you can mean to them, what they want to make them happy.

Please be safe and enjoy the beauty of the day. You are in my heart.

You made me feel so safe. I want to take care of you too.

I don't understand how those people were able to have access to my chart. That little weasel, Ed, was talking about matters in my chart. He was all weird acting over my friend. He is a very strange mean little immature jerk. He was always screaming af me and chasing me away as if I were a stray cat. Not even allowed to sit down. That group have odd control over that place. You would be well rid of them. 

Why is there someone in this situation who can tell people what to do? Is it employer, personal, or? I trust you to tell me when it is over and not allow the horrible man to extend it.

Pics:

• Have a lovely weekend. I wish you could be here. Missing you.

Couldn't the "thing" be ended earlier? It is a waste of time. I lnow I may sound a little self centered, but tell me, what has gone my way? What breaks have I ever gotten? Life is sliding by, I really want to enjoy you. I want to look into your eyes now. Life is more important than having to low tow to bad people. Who waits this long, especially with bad people running the show? Please keep the bad people away from you, especially if they are packing needles....

Since I have been kept in the dark, I cannot claim to know what is going on, so I must imagine. I know that the people who caused this, are evil, so I fight them any eay I can to keep you safe. I favor exposing them.
I have been treated in every terrible manner, short of weaponry. I feel that gaslighting of a person and leaving them anxious and frightened is more painful than if I had actually been hit. Having people tell me that you hate me and that I disgust you and embarrass you, did make me want to die. I nearly did. You saved me. The only pain that hurts me is knowing you could dislike me, or that you were suffering. Nothing matters to me as much as your safety. Some days, I can barely relax. No matter what you think of me, please let me see you one more time and assure me you are happy and well. If you do not like me, there is no reason to keep the R.O. going, because I will wait to hear from you first. I do not go to see people who do not want to see me. It will break my heart even further, but it is life.  I love you so.

I want to hug you and watch a fun movie. I think you would be very cuddly. You warm my heart.

Please be a co-owner with me. I cannot imagine anyone I want more. I already think of you that way anyway. I love you more than anyone I have ever known and ever will. You are a part of me.

I would love to have some quality time with you, so you can decide if you like me, or not. I already know jow I feel about you.

Dear....

My voice has been silenced and had my evidence that refutes any lies that have been filed in court against me, ignored, or swept under the carpet. 

This false R.O. was made as a piggyback to the time apart from my doctor in an attempt to know him on a social basis. It may have been implemented to ensure that I maintained the time apart. Instead of disliking me, it meant that Dr. Lukaszewicz wanted me to succeed and become his friend.  We have NEVER been afraid of each other, he knows me too well for that and I trust him with my entire life. He has been a loyal and devoted ally. 

I do not appreciate the derrogatory comments of outsiders in an attempt to dissuade, or sadden me. It is morally repugnant. Dr. Lukaszewicz would never purposely lie to me, or make me feel bad. He is a person of good character, compassion, support and high ethical standards. Your false words to me claiming as having come from him are despicable and fall under the same lack of moral character as this entire travesty full of lies, torment, forgeries, abuse of court and a complete disregard for the safety of a delicate, innocent human being. 

Are there no people in the field of law who are no better than those they call criminals? It seems that there is little difference, just a better disguise of gravitas. 

The problem that happened with my "case" was the fact that Mr. Guasco had his own agenda. He turned an innocuous waiting period into a free for all attack on me, with no means on my part to fight back. He took the parts of law that benefited himself personally in some way and thumbed his nose at the rest. I want to understand if there is a program in the court system that allows false legal programs to be implemented against a person to serve a personal agenda. It made no sense.  I have been subjected to torment, terror and extreme mental abuse....even by (or especially by) judges.

I am someone who has a more than basic understanding of how legal and judicial systems work. What I face(d) under the opportunistic control of Mr. Guasco was a perverted version of both. It is my contention that Mr. Guasco saw an opportunity to attack me and frighten me off, or create so much stress, confusion and sadness that I could have had a traumatic incident that might have taken my life. His opportunism is either for himself as predator, or is working for a "shadow client" who is intimidated by my very existence. Either way, Mr. Guasco's desperation, intensity and the careless chances he takes, speaks loudly of his anticipation of great monetery reward upon his success of eliminating me in....any way possible; details unnecessary.  

He does not want me to be a friend of Dr. Lukaszewicz. With every blow he landed on /against me, he chalked up as a victory. He has done this to get rid of me, no matter what that means. (Dead, or alive).

Each time I saw her, Judge Novak denigrated me, humiliated me, treated me like dirt, and frightened me. She forced an attorney on me under threat of jail. She railroaded me into jail using false evidence supplied by Mr. Guasco, after he had the security guard create it. I phoned that guard named Mr. Souza and told him that lying to the court was a serious matter and that if he were found out, Mr. Guasco would merely say that he had no idea why Mr. Souza lied and would let Mr. Souza take the fall. Mr. Souza is a few marbles short of a complete set, he is greedy, cruel and dumb...perfect to follow in Guasco's smarmy footsteps.

It is clearly obvious that Guasco has been creating a hostile envionment against me to either mortally injure me, or make me hate Dr. Lukaszewicz for the ruse I was put through under his name.

I am an upstanding citizen of this country and I deserve to have this abuse of law and the court with me as the victim, rectified and remedied. In reality, everyone suffers when our dearest of institutions have been turned into a joke. The sad thing is that Mr. Guasco utilized ploys he pulled out of his own usual arsenal of dirty tricks that he implements on a regular basis, in court and out, against his victims. That is no joke, or game. Mr. Guasco is a predator and a scourge to those who are innocent. What he does is denigrate the very system that gives him employment. Those in the legal community speak of him in the most desparaging of terms. Even (honest) judges have caught up with his massive B.S. and call him on it

What Mr. Guasco did was to kick the court in the crotch with his lies and said it was just for fun. He took my situation, sprinkeled it with a liberal dose of horror movie terror, swung an ax at my head and told everyone but me, that it was all just a joke, that he was just enforcing the doctor patient waiting period on my behalf. Yeah, it was so funny I could have died. It was criminal behaviour disguised as mere harmless enforcement of a waiting period. It was hazing of the sort where the college people victims have died....but with Guasco, I believe that was the real intention. To kill me. 

Mr. Guasco, outside of court, told me he could keep me restrained forever just to add to the misery I already have endured, I suppose. That is sadistic. What is the point of that? Just a little joke?  Were the court and judges just a backdrop to the, "fun and games?"

Sorry, I just don't think of terrorism and falsely putting me in jail as a joke, or funny in the least. I deserve to have this twisted, sadistic version of Monopoly ended. Just because Guasco thought that what he did to me was hysterically funny, does not mean that normal, sane people feel that way.  

It was torture and abuse. PERIOD. Nothing can make it okay, or better. It hurt me and has put significant doubts in my mind about our judicial system and those who represent it.

THIS WAS A CRIMINAL OFFENCE AND MUST BE TREATED AS SUCH! MR. GUASCO MUST BE PROSECUTED FOR THE ABUSIVE TREATMENT OF A HANDICAPPED SENIOR!!

Put an end to this evil charade now!

Do your job and investigate it!

I need to be released from this illegal restraint, NOW! 

I will abide by Dr. Lukaszewicz's wishes only, not those of some sadistic, absusive liar to the court who thinks it is funny to terrorize and hurt people!

Sincerely,

Cheryl Petrovich

Dear.....

There is never an excuse for brutality. Mr. Guasco outdid himself in that catagory. 

He never missed an oportunity to terrorize and denigrate me. He tried to stress me out so much that I could have easily suffered lethal issues with my MS brain lesion, which I have no doubt was his intention. Never have I heard of someone in the field of law behave so abysmally and with such disregard for human welfare. There was not one scintilla of kindness or humanity that I have ever seen from him. 

Guasco put me in hell from the moment he conjured up this entire false restraining order to remove me from Dr. Lukaszewicz's life, for his (Guasco's) own personal goals and gain. He was afraid my tentative friendship with Dr. Lukaszewicz would put a snag in his predatory ambitions. He used every possible method of illegal/legal harm and trickery to subvert the law to gain his objective. He made comments and threats meant to cause anxiety and torment. How he manages to get the assistance of judges and others to turn a blind eye to his criminal behavior, I don't know, but he certainly seems very familiar with the wrong side of law. (He most likely uses Kaiser deep pockets). His absolute savagery and psychopathic behavior combined with his palpable desperation, make for a lethal combination. He belongs nowhere in decent society, he belongs in prison for the criminally deviant. He seems to have absolutely no concern for anyone but himself and his wants. People as immoral and as sadistic as Mr. Guasco, are rarely heard of outside of novels of the most depraved situations and vile intentions. He flouts the law, harms innocent people and behaves as if he is justified in doing so. I think a character in a book that most reminds me of Mr. Guasco, is Mr. Hyde. 

His threats are repugnant and his narcissism is more than disturbing. I believe he can be dangerous and absolutely would not be in the least concerned about being the cause of someone's death. He could have killed me and would have been fine about it. Otherwise, he would not have tried so hard to try and make it happen to me. I believe he is pure evil....or at least 95%. 

He cannot remain in charge of Dr. Lukaszewicz. Guasco needs to know that if he harms Dr. Lukaszewicz, that he will be the primary suspect. 

Sincerely,

Cheryl Petrovich

I know that not all my poems are great, but they are intended as a witness to this time, so they are mostly informative in poetic form. The ones I write about you are the best (as much as I can do) because you do something to me that influences me because of the love that comes through. I basically think about the lovely things you have done for me and helped with your advice and support. I believe in you. I trust you. I appreciate you. I love you.

I can't do anything until I know you are healthy, safe and happy, but if I knew you were okay, I'd only want to see you. Nothing else matters.

I have been so impressed with the amazing way my friend's sister has been responding to ALA being added to her regimen for the pancreatic cancer she has been fighting. Was also reading about using LDN with it too. You should read about LDN. Low dose Naltrexone. It seems to be an amazing drug and combined with the supplement Apha Lipoic Acid, it knocks out cancer. It helps with people who are addicted to opioids. It is also an inflammation and pain reducer. With the amount of opium addictions in the US and its cancer fighting properties, etc; this might very well be something in which one might want to invest.

Dr. Burt Berkson has been using LDN in combination with ALA for cancer treatment and for many other diseases. He is a very nice person. He was a lot more accessible before his practice became so busy, from his success. I had a friend through a friend who was dying of liver failure snd I was trying to get her help thtough Dr. Berkson. He was ready and waiting for her, but it seemed like people around her were resistant to the idea, and they did not take her. She died. Her insurance company was really screwing with her too. Twice, on her way into the operating room, she was denied liver transplant at the last second. They basically just let her die. When I saw her, she was the strangest color of yellow. She would call me and have all ranges of emotions and even yelled at me, or would cry. It broke my heart. Her husband acted like she was a pain in the ass. She got out of bed and fell down the stairs and her husband found her when he came home from work. I can barely think about it without being angry for her. She was a lovely, caring woman. She did not deserve to be treated in such an abysmal way. She lived in Texas, so I was unable to be there for her. Her husband was not friendly anyway. It almost seemed like he wanted her to die. I am sure the toxins in her blood caused her erratic behavior. I am confident Dr. Berkson could have saved her. I think he could have saved Steve Jobs too. I sent him emails and letters to go see Dr. Berkson and I heard he was going somewhere new, but died prior to going. I asked Dr. Berkson if Steve Jobs had been planning to go there, but he said he could not tell me.  He did say he would help me when I thought I had Dercum's. Now, he is so busy that he only treats people who live near his clinic in New Mexico. People move there, so they can get treatment.
I was lucky with my cancer treatment, or actually the protocol sent over to Kaiser from UC Davis was amazing, but I feel terrible that the other people who also had a Ewings family cancer all died from their hearts giving out. That is why I took CoQ10 and shark cartilage. I was the only survivor.  Still cancer free. But I take ALA daily.
After losing my best friend to ovarian cancer, I cannot stand the thought of anyone not beating cancer. I even had Linus Pauling involved and he sent a protocol of vit. C for infusion, but she refused it in favor of only the usual chemo treatments (I think both could have been used concurrently). I still feel terrible. She was the most amazing and loving human being I ever knew. I think I mentioned that when she was at Kaiser SF, I heard they had to hire another operator to handle all the calls that came in for her. She was my son's Godmother. She left a big hole in my life and in the life of her children. Her son is my Godson. She deserves to be remembered.

It is lovely that I have been able to find someone I feel as close to as she. You. It has been excrutiating dealing with the time away. I feel as if I have been trying to survive a serious illness. ALA has not kept me going in that way. It has been prayer and pretending to write to you. Once I knew who you were to me, I felt like I finally found the charger to my human device.  It is like I began living at a higher quality of existence. Everything was better. I loved the feeling that came over me when I was near you. I didn't even have any pain after surgery. I know....I messed up on that front, but who was to know it was a trap? To me, people who set up traps are the lowest of the low....absolutely repugnant. I am someone who cannot receive such monumental help and not say thank you for it. But it was my downfall. It brought out the legal Mafia and I have been treated like a punching bag ever since. Politeness and decorum slapped me down...hard. Too bad rules were not handed out.  Nothing made sense. It was frustrating and ate away at my soul. It has been the most awful period of time. I had a hard time hanging-in-there. I had faith in you, but then I was worried like mad for your safety, so I had double pain. I felt guilty for you going through all the crap. I wanted to watch over you. I craved any tiny information about you, so I could have hope and not worry for another day. I prayed and prayed and hoped my angel would be my eyes and help to keep you safe. It was all I had, but be certain, had I ever heard you were sick, or in trouble, nothing would have stopped me from seeing you. I still panic. Not knowing how you are is the worst. I know I want to visit my angel and leave her many roses and have a nice chat and thank her for listening to me, then go to Half Moon bay and have a picnic. I love it there.
You are never away from my thoughts. I am so blessed.  Most people can only have mundane crap to think about, I have beauty, kindness and love to think about, all in one person....yes, YOU.
I will always have that privilege. No one can steal away my thoughts, or prayers or my love.

https://www.koshlandpharm.com/services/low-dose-naltrexone-ldn-therapy/?gclid=CjwKCAjw9dboBRBUEiwA7VrrzcfAVcokT--wO6N15MVFj_fOVe7ZA9JFKScND5LQ1TBVdhikIpb95hoCkz0QAvD_BwE



https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6126779/

I was telling my son and his lady how nice it would be to go to Prague. I am not thrilled to fly, but....

Have a lovely day!

I hope you will give me a chance. You never left my mind, or my heart the entire time I knew you. I am sorry I have made mistakes. I was confused and frightened and so in love with you I was hardly able to think correctly. It is still hard for me to think normally even thinking about you.
I won't make you sad or upset. I guess I am panicking that maybe you won't like me.

I hope we can do lots of things together. I want to make you happy. It means everything to me.

I think about all the sweetness you did for me and it makes my heart melt. It shows such caring. I love you.

How are you doing?

What I honestly would love to do, is just look at you for a long time, but maybe it sounds weird? My eyes are hungry for your face, I need to be honest, otherwise I would have to be taking a lot of sneak peeks at you. I guess I would be so afraid of losing you again, I would have to prepare by filling up. That horrible man said it was all my own fault. How about starting by telling a person the rules? Hard to know what can and cannot be done w/o telling what can and cannot be done! How about them not setting traps all over the damn place? They lured me and then blamed me for falling in. Those people are too much! Then they beat me up and terrorized me with faux legal crap. I think they need a firm grasp on reality and figure out that they are the bad guys, not me.....or us. Screaming lies at a person is not exactly what anyone eould call fair.

As many thought, I thought Kamala Harris took the top spot in the debate.

I have a weary sadness.
It is one thing to have a waiting period, but it is another thing for an unethical attorney making certain he "adorned" it with cruel maneuvers and lies. He lies about what my friend says and thinks. That is wrong.
I will never lose my love and faith.
He is just jealous that no one loves him. (Who could? He is despicable)

My friend is lovely, kind and wonderful, plus he is loyal and trustworthy. Besides his deep, dark, inviting sweet eyes it is why I love him so much.

Good night, dear one.

I would always follow your lead.

You and I have been under the thumb of people who are morally derranged. They have no legal right for what they have done.

Watching the debates.

I just want to see you and speak with you in any capacity. I have no animosity toward you at all. You are someone forced into this as was I and you were inconvenienced as was I, but you even more so, since you have your work and other life with which to contend. I am merely an annoyance. I am sorry. I was my exuberant self toward someone I so very much enjoyed being around. I could have had nothing more in my life, but those visits with you. They lifted me up to the stars. Of course I craved more time with you, but it wasn't in my control and I am not pushy, or demanding. I could have loved you quietly, but others were at the helm and they planned the outcome. I guess my gifts of thanks were seen as what I suppose they actually were: an expression of my warm feelings toward you.  I would so enjoy seeing the delight on your face. I admit, it made my life to see you happy. I would give anything to see that happen again. It was my absolute joy.  You are my absolute joy....even far away and only in my mind.

I only care about listening to you and sharing ideas.
I want to hear all your thoughts, your passions and dearest dreams.

When I spoke with you, I knew that I was going to care about you forever. You are so much fun to talk with and meld with you and your feelings.
I want to hug you tightly.

I want to talk to you so much!

Please?

I absolutely, adoringly love you and miss you.

I am obviously forced to resign myself to the situation in which I have found myself. Waiting and refraining was never the issue. The issue that has been the sadness of my very soul has been the abject brutality to which I have been subjected.
There was absolutely NO JUSTIFIABLE REASON FOR THE CRUELTY MR. GUASCO HAS INFLICTED UPON ME!
He KNOWS that he created this entire thing as a means to derail the underlying purpose of my becoming a social acquaintance of my doctor. He has used each and every means of brutal cruelty to inflict upon me, lies, confusion and screaming into my face both by  himself and the others he incorporated into the situation. 

This is such an amazingly beautiful day!

I wish you could see it.

I hope you've had a lovely day so far.

Please forgive my mistakes made out of confusion and fear.

I feel good and want to spend time with you.
Anywhere. I am so hungry for your voice and what you have to say.
I never want to play "games" with you....unless they are fun ones.....

Tempus fugit.  It is wasted not being with you.

You know my heart and I know yours; it is beautiful.

I know who wanted me beaten up. I am a bit angry that it was done, but if it wasnt the horrible man, I feel torn. The horrible man had the responsibility to say no, but he did not. He is really to blame. There should have been a meeting, not a cover-up. After that horrible man yelled in my face last time and said he could make it last forever, plus that he wished I were dead. That says so much. He is the one who wants this. He is a predator. Be safe.
As much as I am upset over this, if the person who did this abuse to me needed help, I would not hesitate. I think that is how you would be too. I have always appreciated your big kind heart. You are someone I dearly love for a reason. You are never out of my thoughts or my heart.

I know you are a loyal friend. I am too.

I want to understand this.
The Devil has come to Earth in the form of Mike Guasco.

Please remember me.

I want to spend quality time with you, so that lost time could be regained. I want to know everything about you, but really, I know what is important now.
I know your heart, your kindness, your smile, your compassion, the depth of your loyalty and I can snuggle up in the warmth and softness of your eyes forever.

The best thing of all is that I can trust you. I don't feel afraid because of it. I know that with you near, I will always be safe and protected....and yes, loved.

I would love to show you all the places and all the things that mean a lot to me.

But, nowhere with you is truly my favorite place.

In love with you is my favorite way to feel.

I wish the hurt weren't so intense, but I guess I am not dead, so pain is good in that way.

It has been so long, but you have been with me the entire time. I know you will always be in my heart.

Be safe, be well, be happy.

I loved life when you were in it.

I tossed a butter cookie to my dog, she is enjoying it. 
She may need a bath tonight. She smells a bit. Every other day for her seems necessary.

I love Good Earth Spice tea. It is a very healty tea and tastes yum!
I could only scrounge up 2 bags, so I need to find it online for a good price.

Making tea to have with a cookie, or two.

It is strange my food tastes are changing to less and lighter.
A hamburger does not do it for me as it may have done prior. It has been a long time since having one, and just did, but I cannot say it was so spectacular. But, it was from a freshly ground roast. I think I prefer my mushroom, avocado or tomato sandwiches with melted cheese, the best.

I am giving you a long comforting hug.

I hope you feel it.

I miss you. I wish I knew how you are doing.
I worry so about you.

Please be safe. I don't trust any of them.

You knew I would always believe in you. They tried to torture it out of me, but I refused to cave in. My love is strong.

"Without you I cannot find the strength to be who I must be."-Queen Victoria

"She was the embodiment of grief".

-"Queen Victoria's Letters"

Please ask God to let me to at least have a small look at you, so it can refresh my being. I think he will listen to you, because you have a pure heart that is full of love.

I feel you and I love it.

Joy. +  elation= U

Please let me prove to you what you already know about me.

I am emotionally prolific right now, take it with a grain...

Letting off some sadness steam.

Everyone gets to see you, I get to pray for you.
I want both.

You know I love you. I really do know that, but sometimes I look at myself and figure that no one could love me back. But you have been so loyal and my knight. Thst is what makes me hang on, but it also makes me miss you so much sometimes the pain is unbearable.

I feel like I am very much like Queen Victoria in the way I love and the way I must express it in writing. She had hundreds of volumes of her writing. I have her same passion and dedication to the one I love.
I hurt, but I try and let it out and let it soar into the heavens. My love remains here for you until I die and then I will take it with me and watch over you.

"You know me."

Please forgive me. I am very emotional. I miss you so much and I am so worried you will not want to be my friend. I am no one special, but you are everything to me. I adore you.
I see my son's lady looking at him with such love in her eyes that I don't worry at all about how she feels for him, I know it must be the way I looked at you too. It's like looking at her face so full of love mirrors mine for you. I think you knew. Looking into your eyes was the most beautiful experience in my life, along with holding your hand. I wish I could do it again. I live for that day.

I am so shaken up by this situation. I wish they hadn't turned it ugly. A waiting period should not come with brutality or jail, but as I said it did test my faith and love for you. I will take any test you want to prove myself, or sign anything. I can understand anyone being careful, you have others to care about and take care of.  I just want to know you and make you feel happy and loved. You will certainly be able to easily tell.

I dream about your amazing eyes that brought me home and your sweet smile that made me welcome. 

I keep thinking I must prove myself to you, but I should prove my faith instead. You already showed me many times your sweetness and trust in me. I just live in my own head right now, and since I put myself down a lot, I just assume others do too, but I just need to remember your kindness to me. You have never been unkind to me. I know what was forced of you and what was not. That is why my heart trusts and loves you. I want the chance to prove to you that you are the one for whom I would give my life, and prove it with my caring and dedication
I need to stop worrying how you think of me, it is twisting up my insides. I will show my feelings, because I cannot keep them silent. I never will.

I know you. I love you. I have been so hurt under your name, but I never believed it. You have always been there for me to give me hope and keep me going.
I never had anyone care that much. I am overwhelmed. I love you so much. I will give you all I have, if you ask. I already asked and attorney to give you half my house, but he said he could not, he was worried I was putting myself in a bad position. It upset me. I want to show you how much you mean to me. Just know it is yours. I wrote up an affidavit anyway. You may have anything you want. I have faith in you. You would never harm me.

The desperation of that horrible man made me worry about you. His screaming in my face was so weird. Who does that? No one normal. He must feel he has a lot at stake. My son was there and saw him do it. I asked him how he lives with himself. He ran away from me! What a coward. What a predator! If you had little, they would all leave you aline. People get strange when greed is in their heads. That awful man acts like he owns you. Please be safe. That is HIS R.O., not yours. He wants me to be on it forever. WHY? what did I ever do? I have been beaten up by them with no means of fighting back, they are bullies and the worry about me? They worry because I love you and they know it. That horrible man has a black soul and heart. He desperation was so obvious, it has scared me ever since.

I wish I knew you were doing well.

Even if I were only given a few precious moments with you and no more, I would celebrate that blessing and carry it with me into eternity.

I think I will start making the Buddha heads again. Remember when I made one that had spices in it? I think I will make them with a variety of natural scents. My renter went over to the new natural health place across the street and spoke with an owner and he told her about the Buddha heads and she said if I brought them to her, she would sell them in her shop. The thing is that she opens by appt. only, so not a huge business that way. There are farmer's markets that I have not been to, so that may be another avenue. There are a  lot of Buddhist temples here, so I could send one to them and see if they might want to sell them.

I need to figure out my floor situation and get rid of my rugs that sit on the bare wood. They have become old and yucky. I have a roll of carpet in the garage, but it is huge! I would need to figure out a lot of things to utilize it. I may have it put in the master bedroom and just go with new rugs elsewhere. I still need to paint the stairs and put a runner down the middle. I was frozen for a long time. Losing you was awful. I so enjoyed life with you in it. Now, I think about you being here and I am gradually moving out the inertia and waking up to a degree. I feel you in my heart and being, so you are here actually. I have my prayers and my thoughts. I must make do. I will wait and if and when you contact me, then that will be my joy. I won't come there, unless you ask, don't let anyone fool you. All I know is that I miss the tangible you....so very much.

Dedicated Love-

I love the hollow sound and gentle squeak of the wooden floor as I ascend the few steps to light candles of hope and prayer. It is a lonely sound, but I find comfort in the old familiarity; it is stark yet embracing.
My soul is weary, but holds a tender memory of your soft touch on my welcoming hand. It revives me as nothing else could.

Behind me, I hear the rhythmic sound of the tandem rosary chanting. The pious seek redemption, health, lost love. It never comes, yet devotees ardently and fervently return day, after day, to repeat their pleas to the saint who listens the most attentively and carries the least judgemental look in their loving, but disappointed eyes.

We are small, but our hearts have a grand capacity for love. I can't imagine my heart being able to hold all the love I have for you. The vast sky even seems inadequate to take on the overflow. I look up and see the breathless enchantment you leave behind and I know I will never be alone, for you are the beauty in every place my eyes find to rest....and my dedicated prayer to you, at last is answered.

Haviva-

(c) HVM 2019

"I have nothing in me, not even fear"-Oscar Wilde

I have been beaten down, but I won't stay there.  My love for you has kept me going.

"There is no mystery so great as suffering"-Oscar Wilde, "The Happy Prince"

"Thank you for a moment's harmony in a discordant fugue."-Oscar Wilde

You gave me the most harmoneous moments  I have ever experienced.

I just came in from praying for you. I like that it feels like I am connecting with you. It is the best I can do, so I try and make it lovely.
Sorry if I say, or do some dumb things. I am just trying to survive. If I knew beyond doubt you were okay,  I would feel so much better.
Try and feel my love; it is always going to you.
I hope you don't mind my letters I share. I get upset when people speak for you and tell me how you feel about me. I only want that to come from your own lips.
I am aching to see you again. I hope you smile at me.
I love caring so much about you. I think we would have nice times, if you want, that is.

I want to bring some cheer to all the sweet babies in the detention camp. Will you help me? What can be done? I cannot stand it!

Don't believe it if that horrible man makes you go away because he thinks I am coming there. He is just doing it to control you. Tell him to go to Hell. Does he ever drug you? I worry about that. I wish I were there to protect you.

Please don't let me alienate you with anything I might say during this difficult time.  I am a little worn down and flustered, but when I go into my full throttle mode of you in my head, I feel so much better. I actually get moments of hope. You make me smile in the midst of all the pain.
I just get so blown away with the abject cruelty of some people
I made the mistake of telling thst psy that I am an empath, so she made sure to have many people try and make me feel like scum. I get stunned by people who don't care what the do to others.

I wish I could hold your beautiful face in my hands and say good night to you. ...I would have a difficult time letting it go.
Be well, be blessed.
Good night sweet one. I will see you in my dream.
H

As you know I only know what my mind conjures up and the input I get from things I remember etc. I get feelings, I get scared, I get frantic and I get depressed. I pray, I write, I feel desperate, I feel sad.
I just want to see you. I don't care about anything else. Please, let me at least see you one more time again. It is all I ask. Then, I would go away. Whatever you want. I love you and I want your happiness.
Don't mind me. I am just broken hearted and miss you to the core. Please be safe.

I will work relentlessly to help you.

I truly thought someone was going to help me with the ugly situation, but instead it all imploded, because I believe he contacted the horrible man and the horrible man used it as an excuse to be a predator against you. I hate to think that people could be so evil. I drove for many hours, dead tired and my legs vibrating. I was hoping the man was going to help me end the situation, but when I got there, I was told it was his day off. He was merely using me to help your predator pretend he needed to guard you. I am only guessing that is how it all happened. I was lied to and I am angry and hurt. I think he was paid off. It just shows to what lengths the horrible man will go to in an attempt to keep you, steal your identity and then....
Please don't let him hurt you. He has no humanity. He would love no one, not you, or those you love. He would never create a caring home.
 Predators don't love. You have every right to run away from that place; it isn't normal. They treat employees like possessions.

I will always make you first in my life, because love makes me feel that way. I will never betray you, or make you feel bad. I will support you and work for you.

Life will begin, only when I see you again.

If you do not want to wait and be my friend, just stop it all and tell me personally. Another year seems like a lifetime. Can I do it? If I had even a glimmer of what you think, it would hopefully ease my path. Otherwise, I need a coma. I miss you so very much. I need a little hope boost.

• I am anxious. Are you okay? I wish I could know.  All I have are my own thoughts and memories. It is so hard not knowing. I need you. I felt so good feeling you near and doing your sweet things for me. Nothing is better than knowing you are close.

Please share my home. I don't care about anything any longer, except seeing you smile at me.

Please don't let that horrible man hurt me, or you any longer. He is the epitome of sadistic cruelty.

Don't forget that, that horrible man wants me dead. He has done all he can to make that possible. If he gets in with you, you will be the target. Please don't let that happen. But if you die, I won't live. It would hurt too much.

I hate it when that horrible man acts like I am some big threat to you. I am sure he makes it up to have a chance to subordinate you and cozy up for predatory purposes. Please never trust him. He may be lethal. Do what you want, but I will always take care of you, not take advantage of you. I cannot say the same for that devious monster, he wants what you have, not the sweet look on your face, the warm welcome of your dark eyes, or the humor that lights up a sorrowful countenance.
Never believe what he says about me. I trusted someone a couple of days ago to help me, but instead, nothing. I think that horrible man used it as an opportunity to grab onto you. We were both used, I believe. The best thing to do is not to believe that liar and tell him to go away. I will tell you about it when I can see you again. Remember. He has a dark heart of evil. I do not.

Do you know just how much I miss you, love you and want to take care of you? You are the love I never thought I would ever find.
I have been in torment, but am greatly blessed because of you.

Kaiser hired attorney Mike C. Guasco, with the law firm of Buty & Curliano has given me a false restraining order, so he could have unrestricted control over my doctor for predatory purposes. He was told my doctor and I were having pleasant visits and when he heard we contemplated becoming social acquaintances, he knew he had to go into action fast! Guasco gave me a false restraining order to clear the playing field and prevent me from protecting my doctor. My doctor 's name was added to a document full of lies and forgeries.of his signature. It was nothing wanted by Dr. Lukaszewicz. It was forced on him through threat and duress, which is the obvious answer; after all, it is the place of his livelihood, by an attorney connected to that livelihood telling him what to do!

Mr. Guasco just pushed it to a further degree and used it opportunistically to keep me out of his predatory way.

I believe Mr. Guasco has been using me as a scapegoat and was worried I would keep Dr. Lukaszewicz safe from Guasco's predatory behavior. The restraining order is a joke.  It is supposedly for gifts I gave Dr. Lukaszewicz for his extraordinary help on my behalf. I was thanked for them. Even in court, Dr. Lukaszewicz said that they were, "very nice and expensive." That shot down the basic premise of the case. They had added in some salacious bit about my having done something to cross personal boundary lines, with my doctor, but it was obvious that they used it only to get a judge to sign off on a TRO. Nothing was even mentioned about it in court, even though that would seem to be the much more serious charge. (Yeah, more than appreciated, expensive gifts!)

It is very odd that TRO for gifts and an absurd false salacious behavior came 97 days AFTER I dropped Dr. Lukaszewicz as my doctor to become a social acquaintance of his.

If Guasco, or my doctor were having a relationship with anyone, it is not my business, but when I am railroaded into a FALSE restraining order, it VERY MUCH BECOMES MY BUSINESS! AND THEN TO HAVE LIES AGAINST ME, TO THROW ME IN JAIL, BECAUSE GUASCO WANTS NO COMPETITION! THAT IS ABUSIVE OF COURT RULES AND ATTORNEY ETHICS!

The strange thing, to reiterate, was that I had dropped my doctor 97 days prior to the TRO being generated, BUT only one week after I asked to have Dr. Lukaszewicz observe my gall bladder removal surgery! THAT is what this was REALLY about! Guasco could not stand that Dr. Lukaszewicz ignored his edict of not seeing me, then come to my surgery anyway on his half day at work. I waited from Tuesday night until Friday afternoon to have my "emergency" surgery! I am sure it angered Guasco that my doctor cared enough about me to risk reprimand (he even visited me while I was still asleep as told to me by a nurse). Mr. Guasco worked quickly and got a TRO served to me about a week later, but it was for gifts and whatever that salacious thing was that was never brought up again....it was so obvious that they didn't know how to make that one fly!

The problem with a TRO is that it is intended for stopping immediate danger to someone! How can 97 days AFTER I dropped my doctor, could it even be relevant? Why would a judge even sign it at all? Guasco obviously had a very lenient judge for his TRO approving purposes, but far too casual for the person it affected! I have observed Mr. Guasco's great skill at lying. It is the 8th Wonder of the World!

Judge Livermore said it was an invalid restraining order, but Guasco changed all that by writing up and filing false contempt charges and serving them to me on a Thursday prior to a Monday court date! I had no time to answer! The false contempt charges were made up by Edward Souza to make amends with Guasco for telling me (with my witness hearing him) that Marija M. Petrovic was hired back to Kaiser, "specifically to get rid of you!" he said. I said, "then that means the restraining order is invalid, because she worked to get it for me." It had all been the product of entrapment. Illegal

Mr. Guasco is melding the idea of time off to become friends with my doctor, to make people refuse to help me, because that would just be an innocuous thing, right?  But I have been treated like a cow at a BBQ, or caught with a severed baby head in my purse! The abuse has been extreme and I have been all alone dealing with it. They know I have MS, so I think it is why they all scream at me and why San Mateo County Superior Court judge,  Judge Novak said terrible, outrageous things to me. She even called me "STALKER" as I walked by her to go to the witness stand.

I was treated roughly at the jail and although, I was sick, they did nothing to help me. In fact, they mocked me. I was humiliated, deviated and vilified!

They know the MS makes me dizzy and nauseated, plus they know I have a lesion on my brain, so I guess they tried very hard to stress me out to make it harm me, or kill me....can anyone say, "attempted murder?"

Mr. Guasco and his side kicks, Marija M. Petrovic, Edward Souza have alwsys displayed cruel and cold blooded behavior toward me. They are all affiliated with Kaiser SSF. in some way. Kaiser does not respond to my complaints. Mr. Souza got a permanent Kaiser job for his work getting me jailed with his lies. How vould someone do that to another person, unless they are a monster?

Nothing good can come out of the abysmal behavior to which I was subjected.

I had dropped Dr. Lukaszewicz so that we might be able to be social acquaintances. I had/have no idea of time frame

I believe Mr. Guasco was worried that my friendship with Dr. Lukaszewicz would ruin his predatory plans for Dr. Lukaszewicz, so he formulated a plan to sideline me. He had the help of Serbian psychiatrist, Marija M. Petrovic to tailor make plans of entrapment for me and used a serious false accusation about me as an incendiary device to bait me to find answers.

I wrote several emails to find answers, when no Kaiser South San Francisco manager would help me (find answers.) Now, Mr. Guasco uses those emails as his "evidence" to extend the restraining order. He was able to extend it by 2 years due to a very "compliant" judge., Judge Danny Chou. Judge Chou barely let me speak and he allowed the so-called evidence to be used against me when I never even saw it! It was the BASIS OF THE EXTENSION!

This entire matter has been  circus! None of it has been proper! Mr. Guasco and Judge Novak lied and said Dr. Lukaszewicz was frightened of me! Why? He is in my will for 1/4 and I had given him all powers of attorney over me, including health care and being abe to "pull the plug" on me. I trust him eith my life, which is why I wanted him observing my surgery, and he did. Then a week later Guasco sent me a TRO under Dr. Lukaszewicz's name, because Guasco was angry that he lost control over Dr. Lukaszewicz. Guasco wants me out of the picture permanently.  

Mr. Guasco claims he can use those old emails to restrain me forever Why? I have done nothing wrong. It is Guasco's personal vendetta. He forged Dr. Lukaszewicz's signature on the court docs and said he was there, when he was not. Mr. Guasco flouts the law as easily as he says hello, from what I have experienced.

The emails were written in 2015, but Guasco claimed they were from 2017. He never gave me a copy, which is against Rules of Court.

I could have easily refuted them by content had I been able to see them. Mr. Guasco has never been nice to me, even though he has done this criminal matter to me and I have been suffering enormously. It has eaten years out of my life I can never get back. I have cried nearly every day. It has aged me and changed me to some degree. I cannot comprehend such abject cruelty.

Outside the court room, Guasco screamed twice in my face that Dr. Lukaszewicz, "doesn't want a relationship with you!" Mr. Guasco has abused the court and compromised the integrity of every judge and other legal official he has involved in it. He is desperate. I firmly believe he wants Dr. Lukaszewicz's assets. Dr. Lukaszewicz is in danger.

Guasco has forged Dr. Lukaszewicz's signature many times in court docs and I worry he is planning to extend that into identity theft. Mr. Guasco has harmed me and my health to a dangerous degree. I need this ended, Dr. Lukaszewicz needs it ended.

So much has been done to me in the last 3+ years it is hair raising. Mr. Guasco manages to block me from getting help, he also obviously pays off judges. He even had Judge Novak and himself twice force the same attorney on me, Charlie Smith IV, who basically only yelled at me and did nothing but tell me to, "SHUT UP!" HE HAD THE JUDGE CLEAR THE COURT ROOM AND SHE SAID VILE THINGS TO ME BEFORE SHE CONDUCTED A TRIAL THAT I HAD NO IDEA WAS GOING TO TAKE PLACE! The next day my face was covered in hives.

Judge Novak had said I had to take him as my attorney, or she would jail me, "right here and now!" she said. She is scary and cruel.

It was a kangaroo court trial! The Judge, Judge Novak, twice reprimanded, interrupted me incessantly and then struck each thing I said. Her attorney for me did nothing effective, but did mostly nothing at all for me.

I was put into jail under false contempt charges made up by Mr. Guasco and the then Kaiser security guard, Edward Souza.

This false restraining order has gone on since Feb 3, 2016, but Marija M. Petrovic, was hired to come (back) to Kaiser to help facilitate Mr. Guasco's intricate, predatory plans at the tale end of may, 2015 to begin her harassment of me.

So, because my doctor and I had a friendly relationship and decided to part to become friends (a waiting period) it obviously put a kink into Mr. Guasco's predatory plans for Dr. Lukaszewicz.

When Mr. Guasco yelled in my face that he could keep me restrained forever, it means until he gets what he wants from Dr. Lukaszewicz. ( Can't leave a witness, though, right?)

I need help. It is my concern for my friend that drives me forward. I believe he is in grave danger, but those in charge turn a deaf ear to my pleas. I believe Mr. Guasco uses terrible threats against my doctor to keep him quiet and in compliance. Mr. Guasco's fears that he will be caught has made him seem even more than frantic; he seemed desperate and irrational. I have complied even with the false restraining order, but Mr. Guasco's unnerving desperation is very worrying to me.

This has been an affront to the American Justice System! An attorney who uses his gravitas and entre with the court to achieve nefarious goals, is a flagrant abuser! He needs to be stopped! He is a criminal in attorney's clothing!

Using the law to forward his own gains and his own purposes is reprehensible! He falsely restrained me for well over 3.5 years now so he could eliminate any perceived competition from me. It is abuse of law.

Please help me to help save a life! I feel Dr. Lukaszewicz is in extreme danger! I cannot stand the idea that kind, gentle, Dr. Lukaszewicz, must be under the thumb of such cold blooded predators!

This false restraining order needs to end, now.

Sincerely,

Cheryl Petrovich

Countessprague@gmail.com

Ephemera-
I met someone with a deep warmth in his eyes, and grace in his every step. He moved through me like the wind in my hair and a song tuned to my heart....and I was never the same mundane form of life again.
His silent words lived in me to brighten my imagination and put intention into my soul. How did I know he would be the one to forever change my life and magically bless my spirit?
I never knew love before, because this was finally it; what I had been missing for so excruciatingly long.
When I was gone away from his need, my own need cried out in anguish and turmoil. I felt as abjectly lost as a child who wandered too far from home and terror set in as the realization her guiding sun was leaving the sky for another day's rest.
I was alone, bitterly cold. All my happiness and future hopes faded
........a heavy door slammed with a finality that sent a wave of despair throughout my being.
Was he ever returning to liberate me from a tormented mind that was frozen in sadness? Had it been too beautiful to be permanent? Is a love that feeds every part of a human dream of perfection only be ephemeral and vanishes before it can be too fully imbued into a life of an ordinary mortal?
I knew it was a love that would soon be taken away. It was too lovely for Earth, it was a taste of Heaven to come. I will find you and live forever in your sweet aura and be eternally blessed.
But, for now, the pain takes away my will to live my ordinary life without you. Please return to me. I can't live without you any longer. Pray for me your most earnest prayer and find me. I want Heaven on Earth with you once again.

-Haviva
(C) HVM 2019

My friend said to me, "I thought maybe you needed a call." He was right. I could use one now too. Life was meant for people to love and be loved. I love you beyond words. I would take such good care of you.
I am so tired of liars and predators.

Resist the inhumanity!

I was betrayed. Again....still.

I should know that only you are to be trusted, but I worry about your safety.

They tell big lies about you and about me. I am always here for you. We are honest, they are not. Be so careful.

Each day until I die, you will be at the center of my thoughts and prayers. After I die, I will also look out for you. Avoid the predators, they are out in force. Get away as so as you can.
I will always take care of you. I will always love you. Is thst horrible man holding you prisoner?

If I had to tell my favorite thing in the world to do, it would be to look into your eyes. I miss it so much, eating would be a very distant second, or breathing, or sleeping.  The eyes have it.....

Do you trust me? I have always trusted you. It just felt natural to be around you and talk to you. I feel like big vital parts were removed from me when you were gone. I have never liked other people running my life. I don't do well that way.

I was treated badly, in a creepy possessive way, by a store manager. He didn't like me because I kept pushing away his advances. He would insult me to customers. One time, I told him I had had it and I kicked him in the butt and said I quit. It went past his butt and to the jewels. He was bent over in pain, calling security, as I ran out of the store. I went to my car parked on the street and there was a man lying next to it who had been stabbed to death...ugh, and a parking ticket on my windshield. I guess I still got the better deal...

I love you.

Are they always going to be keeping you under watch? Can't you live your own life?

Pact-

Oh you
Sweetest
one
of my
dreams

The trials
of the past
were
those of
extremes

I made it on
through
the
worst of
the
time

Though the
terror
I felt
was a horrible
crime

A mind can
forget
or
a heart may
grow
fond

But

My feelings
for you
are
a sacred
life
bond

I'll never forget
you
whatever the
cost


With me
to rely
on
you'll


Never

Feel

Lost

I made
a promise...
I
Suppose it's

A pact

If you are in
Danger
I won't
Fail to
Act.

Haviva-

(c) HVM 2019

I thought exercise was good for my situation, but my leg is extremely swollen up.

I hope you are enjoying yourself.

Hi, I miss you and love you.

On my way back home, I am stopping at the church and will light some candles. I will light one for you, me, B etc and for this insanity to end.
Sending my love to you.

I dreamed about you so much last night.

Rough day

I don't want to lose you. Please? I will make you laugh and take lovely care of you.
It would be easy, because I love you.

May I be your friend? I have worked really hard to earn it. I never knew becoming a friend was so scary.....
👹 with lots of mean monsters😓!

Will you protect me?

If you don't like me, I will give you your gifts and when I die, you will get your proceeds of my house.
I love you forever.

Please dont ever be angry with me. Be friendly but you don't need to have me be anything more than a friend, if you'd like. I am not a prize by any means. I am big and it is because I froze for awhile and did little
 It was my doing. I am to blame, but I remember how much I wanted to please you before and I was losing weight from lots of exercise and starving myself. I know I can do it again....if you don't get angry with me and also give me a chance. How you think of me is very important (to me).