I just want to see you and speak with you in any capacity. I have no animosity toward you at all. You are someone forced into this as was I and you were inconvenienced as was I, but you even more so, since you have your work and other life with which to contend. I am merely an annoyance. I am sorry. I was my exuberant self toward someone I so very much enjoyed being around. I could have had nothing more in my life, but those visits with you. They lifted me up to the stars. Of course I craved more time with you, but it wasn't in my control and I am not pushy, or demanding. I could have loved you quietly, but others were at the helm and they planned the outcome. I guess my gifts of thanks were seen as what I suppose they actually were: an expression of my warm feelings toward you.  I would so enjoy seeing the delight on your face. I admit, it made my life to see you happy. I would give anything to see that happen again. It was my absolute joy.  You are my absolute joy....even far away and only in my mind.