You know I love you. I really do know that, but sometimes I look at myself and figure that no one could love me back. But you have been so loyal and my knight. Thst is what makes me hang on, but it also makes me miss you so much sometimes the pain is unbearable.

I feel like I am very much like Queen Victoria in the way I love and the way I must express it in writing. She had hundreds of volumes of her writing. I have her same passion and dedication to the one I love.
I hurt, but I try and let it out and let it soar into the heavens. My love remains here for you until I die and then I will take it with me and watch over you.