Since I have been kept in the dark, I cannot claim to know what is going on, so I must imagine. I know that the people who caused this, are evil, so I fight them any eay I can to keep you safe. I favor exposing them.
I have been treated in every terrible manner, short of weaponry. I feel that gaslighting of a person and leaving them anxious and frightened is more painful than if I had actually been hit. Having people tell me that you hate me and that I disgust you and embarrass you, did make me want to die. I nearly did. You saved me. The only pain that hurts me is knowing you could dislike me, or that you were suffering. Nothing matters to me as much as your safety. Some days, I can barely relax. No matter what you think of me, please let me see you one more time and assure me you are happy and well. If you do not like me, there is no reason to keep the R.O. going, because I will wait to hear from you first. I do not go to see people who do not want to see me. It will break my heart even further, but it is life.  I love you so.