Narcissists are born, like their twin the Borderline, with a black hole where their heart should be. They are pursued by negative emotions that they know will consume them. They feel as though they are worthless, deserving of only destruction.
They are being hunted by the Nothing.
The Borderline has chosen to do battle with the Nothing. They will develop basic techniques to fight off the terrible damage the Nothing does to their soul. They will learn how to make fast friends so they can have company, to cut off people who hurt them completely and permanently, to channel an almighty rage and a cunning tactician when required. The Narcissist has chosen to flee. They will not learn to fight the Nothing, they will learn similar tools to the Borderline, but these will be used to hunt others instead.
The only way the Narcissist knows to keep the wolf from the door is to sacrifice someone else to it. The powerful negative emotions the Narcissist experiences must be channeled into a willing receptacle, or the Nothing will overtake them and devour them.
Narcissists are always on the lookout for fresh meat they can hurl behind them, always staying one step ahead of the slavering beast which wishes to tear them to pieces.
Borderlines fight the Nothing with mixed success. Some are killed by it, others merely wounded.
The Narcissist keeps running. It never learns how to fight the Nothing. Happiness is only ever very fleeting for them. They smile as they hear the Nothing chowing down on their trussed and bound sacrifice. For a while they can stop and catch their breath. But all too soon the Nothing will raise it's bloodied muzzle from the carcass, and lope towards them once more, grinning.
One day though the Narcissist knows they will weaken, slow, and then they will feel the hot breath of Disintegration on their neck. The Nothing will take them, mewling like a babe.
Nothing escapes the Nothing,
Robert
I would feel sorry for her, but she is vicious and hurtful and knows what she is doing.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve peace and a normal life and to be loved and respected. You are beautiful; remember that! Never believe any bad you have been told meant to put you down. You are lovely.
ReplyDeletePlease be well! It is my forever prayer!
ReplyDeleteI want to see your smile again. I want to know you are dramatically on my side, because there is no side for me , but yours.
ReplyDeleteOnly you matter to me. Do I matter to you?
ReplyDeleteOnly you matter to me. Do I matter to you?
ReplyDeleteSweet, loving one I adore, please help me keep you alive. Even if you don't want me in your life; I want you alive and living a lovely life of freedom, even if we need to combine our lives legally to do it. It is the one way we can keep anyone from taking advantage of you again and there is not thing one they can do about it. I want to help you, not myself. Although helping you makes my life complete.
ReplyDeletePlease, this has taken a lot out of me and my life is shit; my only joy is helping you and B & G.
I want to hold your beautiful face in my hands. I always have.
ReplyDeleteI was in a contemplative mood and just trying to figure things out, but decided that maybe it could just be too easy to misunderstand things and perhaps cause upset where none was intended, so I removed many of them. There is no reason to cause problems, or make situations more complicated. I get a feeling of anticipation and dissatisfaction with the status quo and perhaps sound like the wrong person has the full brunt of the responsibility on his shoulders. I basically wanted to point out past mishaps to avoid in future endeavors. My raison d' etra is singularly focused toward you and one goal. It has been a very long time and my self composed task is huge, but completely in the dark, so mistakes may occur. My worry adds a layer of frustration to my desires. I apologize for seeming unreasonable; I am not. It is just been a long time and the amount of attempts that have been squashed, forgotten, or unknown pile up in my mind and become difficult to accept, or ignore and anger builds up with each failure. In my situation, I need full cooperation, or nothing will ever work. That is what I face each day: impossibility and denial and lthe possible death of someone I love. My life is basically a series of road blocks, frustration and feelings of hate directed my way. I need every bit of positive feedback as possible to keep myself going each day at all. I can get depressed, but a small ray of sunshine can pull me out. I have had cruelty beat me down and as motivated as I am, those fully loaded with all their senses, legal advantages and financial welfare at their fingertips, I am at the greatest disadvantage, yet I persist, because I am a sentient human being, while they are not. My only advantage, in a way, is my love, but it can also be bad, because failure feels like a knife to the heart. I must be resilient, even when it feels impossible. My love can be used against me, because it can be misconstrued and called obsessive. Well, I would certainly rather have someone obsessed with my safety, than someone who was casual, or lost interest in my welfare. People use ridiculous things to say in order to embarrass someone into stopping efforts of help, which plays right into their cruel, murderous hands. I only go by one person's desires: yours! Even then, I must be convinced. No one in their right mind wants to be a captive. That is my mindset. That us how I operate. My love keeps me dedicated to helping you, no matter how you think of me, until I know for certain. Until you are free; I will keep up my endeavors, my love is out of my hands. It is a part of me. I will do anything for you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes this place for posting messes up the written print, so I need to correct in another post. Thanks.
I am not blaming you, but you mean so much to me that the things said still burn me and feel bad. It makes me wonder about the way things always go wrong. I don't understand things and I try to justify them. I wish it could all be over, so I feel like living again.
ReplyDeleteI am getting to the point where I want to violate it and be taken to court, but it will no doubt work against me.
ReplyDeleteI wish you could know truly how much you mean to me . I imagine you could think we were all like what you have come to know, but we are not. What you know is demented. Some of us love deeply, care devotedly and think of you as our first thought. I would love to demonstrate it to you.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHello,
I need an affordable attorney who would file a dismissal of a false restraining order for me. I am a senior woman/widow with MS and it has been to the point of harassment. I want it over. It isn't fair or legal. I desperately need help. I have been beaten up over this for a long time and it has now become senior abuse. Much of my life has been destroyed by this.
The attorney, theoretically for the other side, but does not actually represent the named Plaintiff, yelled in my face that he could keep me restrained forever. That is because he did the R.O. for a jealous woman who wants me kept away from her former domestic partner, who was my doctor, so she pays the attorney who works as the company attorney for them both; my doctor and herself. I believe my doctor has been threatened for his job, because he spoke up in court in my favor, so that is what makes sense. His testimony fell on deaf ears. We had been on friendly terms, but aboveboard and only with the highest professional decorum.
I have been a paralegal, had some law school and worked 5 years in a city attorney law firm and was two years a County Law librarian in Palo Alto shortly before it closed. I may not know much law now, but I know enough to understand what is illegal and when an attorney is skating by. He uses tricks and lies to get by....etc. I am certain it is why he has smeared my name and kept me from representation. He alluded to it when I came out and asked him. If any attorney were interested, damages I could gain from my abysmal treatment could be in the 6-7 figures (according to my roommate, who would testify on my behalf). That attorney told me he was glad he had me put in jail. That was quiet an admission for someone harming a senior with MS. I was so sick I could barely hold my head up
I was handcuffed to a chain around my waist and had chains around my ankles. And was treated cruelly by a deputy as I was taken to jail.
All that for a restraining order that was manufactured to make a jealous woman with money, happy. Her local PD officer managed to tell me in a round about way that she was her domestic partner's abuser. (I believe she is a narcissist.) My doctor is tormented.
She has also come after me using hired attackers. I have filed police reports.
I was living in San Mateo County at the time of the initial false law and now reside in Gualala, CA (Mendocino County). Is there a way of dealing with it from near where I live now, instead of the difficult drive to San Mateo from my home on Hwy 1, since I could be considered handicapped? The only reason this has gone on so long, (over 6 years) is because I have had no one standing up for me.
Please, please help me. If I could beg; I would. You have such a kind face.
This false law has stopped me from living a full life. I would be so thrilled if the papers for dismissal could be filed. I would get a loan and pay you extra. I would be so grateful. I was given a dire breast cancer diagnosis, but it was refuted by an expert until I can get a scan. My life is in such turmoil. My doctor asked me to his friend just before I was served with
the false TRO in his name (with his signature forged, verified by an expert). He also came to my surgery at my request, which was held off until a Friday afternoon, when he could be there. About a week later the faked up TRO was served to me at my home in Millbrae, while I was still recovering from the surgery. Why would he agree to protect me during surgery, but make my life a living Hell afterward?
I have lots of evidence in my favor. The case makes no sense and should never have been accepted by the court. No attention was given to my evidence, which refutes it all . I believe it was because I was alone, I suppose .
Thank you so much for your time. I am humbly yours.
Cheryl Petrovich
707 412 0399
ReplyDeleteHello,
I need an affordable attorney who would file a dismissal of a false restraining order for me. I am a senior woman/widow with MS and it has been to the point of harassment. I want it over. It isn't fair or legal. I desperately need help. I have been beaten up over this for a long time and it has now become senior abuse. Much of my life has been destroyed by this.
The attorney, theoretically for the other side, but does not actually represent the named Plaintiff, yelled in my face that he could keep me restrained forever. That is because he did the R.O. for a jealous woman who wants me kept away from her former domestic partner, who was my doctor, so she pays the attorney who works as the company attorney for them both; my doctor and herself. I believe my doctor has been threatened for his job, because he spoke up in court in my favor, so that is what makes sense. His testimony fell on deaf ears. We had been on friendly terms, but aboveboard and only with the highest professional decorum.
I have been a paralegal, had some law school and worked 5 years in a city attorney law firm and was two years a County Law librarian in Palo Alto shortly before it closed. I may not know much law now, but I know enough to understand what is illegal and when an attorney is skating by. He uses tricks and lies to get by....etc. I am certain it is why he has smeared my name and kept me from representation. He alluded to it when I came out and asked him. If any attorney were interested, damages I could gain from my abysmal treatment could be in the 6-7 figures (according to my roommate, who would testify on my behalf). That attorney told me he was glad he had me put in jail. That was quiet an admission for someone harming a senior with MS. I was so sick I could barely hold my head up
I was handcuffed to a chain around my waist and had chains around my ankles. And was treated cruelly by a deputy as I was taken to jail.
All that for a restraining order that was manufactured to make a jealous woman with money, happy. Her local PD officer managed to tell me in a round about way that she was her domestic partner's abuser. (I believe she is a narcissist.) My doctor is tormented.
She has also come after me using hired attackers. I have filed police reports.
I was living in San Mateo County at the time of the initial false law and now reside in Gualala, CA (Mendocino County). Is there a way of dealing with it from near where I live now, instead of the difficult drive to San Mateo from my home on Hwy 1, since I could be considered handicapped? The only reason this has gone on so long, (over 6 years) is because I have had no one standing up for me.
Please, please help me. If I could beg; I would. You have such a kind face.
This false law has stopped me from living a full life. I would be so thrilled if the papers for dismissal could be filed. I would get a loan and pay you extra. I would be so grateful. I was given a dire breast cancer diagnosis, but it was refuted by an expert until I can get a scan. My life is in such turmoil. My doctor asked me to his friend just before I was served with
the false TRO in his name (with his signature forged, verified by an expert). He also came to my surgery at my request, which was held off until a Friday afternoon, when he could be there. About a week later the faked up TRO was served to me at my home in Millbrae, while I was still recovering from the surgery. Why would he agree to protect me during surgery, but make my life a living Hell afterward?
I have lots of evidence in my favor. The case makes no sense and should never have been accepted by the court. No attention was given to my evidence, which refutes it all . I believe it was because I was alone, I suppose .
Thank you so much for your time. I am humbly yours.
Cheryl Petrovich
707 412 0399
Had no response as of yet.
ReplyDelete