Of course the pain and sadness of this thing was just unholy Hell awful, but the part that was beautiful was that it affirmed my deep passion and love for you and made me try harder to connect with you on a spiritual, silent bond level with you and to pray for you and believe in my prayers and the angel who listened to me. Any weakness, or disbelief was my insecurity and lack of faith in myself. I often would feel you near me. My pulse would race and my heart would pound. It would make mundane chores into an enjoyable time of pretending you were with me.

I often do not believe in my own strength, or goodness, or anything positive about myself at all. But, It made me less frightened of consequences that were connected to lies and criminal attacks. Truth has its own aura that radiates strength, goodness and confidence. The body and the mind can tire and weaken, but nothing can break, or erase truth. It generates its own power and    righteousness. It merely needs someone to articulate it well enough and stick to it, so others may accept it and fend off the lies of the opposition....
In  the end, so far, I have felt closer to you and have even more faith and trust in you. Nothing will break that in me.