Genealogy

 

  

Illinois lives : the prairie state biographical record, written and prepared under the supervision of Clyde C. Walton. assisted by an editorial advisory board...
...daughter of the late Dr. Stanley H. Von Martinitz, who was named a Count during the Chancellorship of Otto Bismarck... (Berwyn Township, United States - 1932)

  

Illinois lives : the prairie state biographical record, written and prepared under the supervision of Clyde C. Walton. assisted by an editorial advisory board...
...18, 1932,he married the former Elizabeth Von Martinitz of Chicago, Illinois, who is the daughter of the late Dr. Stanley... (Berwyn Township, United States - 1932)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...ist hier die Korrespondenz mit Bernhard von Martinitz, dem Obersthofmeister des Konigreicbes Bfihmen und spiiter Oberst burggnf (Nr. 12217-122'.".°") aus... (Bohmen, Czech republic - 1654)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...Bo Hta. Georg, Max und Bernhard von Martinitz. Das with tigste ist hier die Korrespondenz mit Bernhard von Martinitz, dem... (Bohmen, Czech republic - 1654)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...die Berichte des Grafen Georg Adam von Martinitz, Gesandten in Rom, aus den Jahren 1698-1700 (Fasz. 147).... (Rom, Deux-Sèvres, France - 1700)

 

The Cambridge modern history, v. 04
...Chancellor, Zdenko von Lobkowitz,together with Jaroslav von Martinitz, still no less resolute a Catholic partisan than he had been in... (Bohemia, Czech republic - 1617)

 

The Cambridge modern history, planned by the late Lord Acton. Edited by A.W. Ward, G.W. Prothero [and] Stanley Leathes (Volume 4)
...Zdenko von Lobkowitz, together with Jaroslav von Martinitz, still no less resolute a Catholic partisan than he had been in... (Bohemia, Czech republic - 1617)

 

Aufzeichnungen über die erloschenen Linien der Familien Dohna
...hier der damalige Oberst-Burggraf Bernard, Ignatz Graf von Martinitz, da daselbst Heilquellen entdeckt wurden, ein Badehaus und nannte den Ort... (Sternberg, Germany - 1876)

  

Genealogische Geschichte der europäischen Staaten as Hülfsmittel bei historischen Studien und zum Gebrauch höherer Lehranstalten
...hatte, von der Gräfin Maria Dominica von Martinitz erbte er 1784 die böhmischen Herrschaften Grünberg, Ncpomuk und Pradlo. Der Anthcil... (Germany - 1784)

 

Geschichte der Gesamtfamilie Bolza aus Barna : Zweite Ausgabe
...7.1.1759 die Gräfin Johanna Nepomucena Philippina von Martinitz. Sie war eine Ur-Urenkelin jenes Jaroslaw Borita von Martinitz, der als Führer... (Germany - 1759)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...von Martinitz (1665-1684), des Grafen Max von Martinitz (1669-1670) und Susanna Polixena Gratin Martinitz-Dietrichstein (Fasz. 129). Zu dieser geboren auch... (Rom, Deux-Sèvres, France - 1670)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...die Korrespondenz des Oberstburggrafen Bernard Ignaz Grafen von Martinitz (1665-1684), des Grafen Max von Martinitz (1669-1670) und Susanna Polixena Gratin... (Rom, Deux-Sèvres, France - 1670)

 

Héraldique et Généalogie
...Vienne et sûrement du cte Karl von CLAM-MARTINITZ. C-En 1758, Auguste ll. roi de Pologne, nomma son fils Charles Pce... (Paris, Paris, France - 1758)

  

Daily Illini 1933/12/20
...both of Chicago , and Karl Von Martinitz 36 , Oak Park . Lambda Chi . Alpha announces the initiation... (Champaign, Illinois, United States - 1933)

 

Aufzeichnungen über die erloschenen Linien der Familien Dohna
...Benatek die Gevettern Wolf und Johann Borzita von Martinitz, damit sie ihm die Einlage erneuern und D r a dice... (Germany - 1545)

  

Genealogische Tabellen zur Erläuterung der Europäischen Staatengeschichte auf Universitäten und Schulen : für Freunde der Wissenschaft und Studierende
...2. Barbara Eufebia, des Grafen Jaroslav von Martinitz Tochter und Wittwe von Zwirben 1650. 1- 1656.... (Germany - 1656)

 

Aufzeichnungen über die erloschenen Linien der Familien Dohna
...Johann dem Jüngeren von Waldstein, Johann Borzita von Martinitz, Joachim Schlick, Florian Griespek von Griespach, Hans Spiegel von Miltschitz u.... (Germany - 1559)

 

Sketches of German life, and, Scenes from the war of liberation in Germany : selected and translated from the memoirs of Varnhagen von Ense...
...of Elba. The Austrian, Count Carl von Clam-Martinitz, who accompanied him to Elba, told me of the wonderful things which... (Germany - 1814)

 

Short history of Germany
..." Royal Charter," the judge Jaroslav von Martinitz, and the burgrave of the neighbor ing fortress of Karlstein, Wilhelm von... (Germany - 1609)

 

The Cambridge modern history, planned by the late Lord Acton. Edited by A.W. Ward, G.W. Prothero [and] Stanley Leathes (Volume 3)
...Lobkowitz, William von Slawata, and Jaroslav von Martinitz, had stood by the Crown.... (United States - 1609)

 

The Cambridge modern history, planned by the late Lord Acton. Edited by A.W. Ward, G.W. Prothero [and] Stanley Leathes (Volume 13)
...1707 C. George Adam von Martinitz.... (United States - 1707)

 

c

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...-1787, Georg Adam Graf von Martinitz... (Normandie, France - 1787)

 

Actes de la chancellerie d'Henri VI concernant la Normandie sous la domination anglaise (1422-1435), extraits des registres du Trésor des chartes aux Archives nationales...
...Begebenhcit zwischen der Ge-mahlin des Georg von Martinitz und dem Diodati.... (Normandie, France - 1633)

 

The Cambridge modern history, v. 13
...IMPERIAL VICEROYS C. George Adam von Martinitz.... (United States - 1902)

Great

They could never make me hate you and I never will.  Whatever you want from here, is something I will support. I trust you and will always support you. This is a time for unity, not only for the country, but for us and for the good. It has been a long time coming, but if one fights relentlessly for good and right, then justice can prevail. You are good and amazing and wonderful. Those people took a crap on you and kept you down. You deserve none of that! You are greatness. Never forget that!

Heal

 Michael F Ozaki MD Retweeted

Dan Rather

@DanRather

·

3h

Never underestimate the ability to heal.

My lowest point in this

 

"Searching Soul"-

When you miss someone who is a part of you, you miss them with an ache that cries out so loudly and so deeply that it resonates and vibrates beyond the great grand design of the universe and into the eternal void of space, touching down in the very soul of God.

It is more than a prayer, it is a gut wrenching agony that has been emitted by human despair since the beginning of their existence. The loss of a beloved twists an invisible knife that plunges in more deeply as pain lingers on and leaves behind the ragged remains of a person who loved another with a passion so grand it consumed every waking thought and pierced the veil of ethereal dreams that visited during random fits of restless slumber. 

Even the smallest fiber of your being reaches out instinctively seeking a place of tranquility and solace to soothe the lonely nothingness that has become your pathetic existence. It finds a temporary haven, a respite, but torment discovers your refuge and with the delight of a predatory demon, picks away at the raw edges of what still remains of your disintegrating psyche.

The Scream is a visual depiction of the chaos that takes over a taunted, and  haunted mourner with cruelly induced bereavement of grief for one departed, but it too has been spirited away by those with selfish, greed driven desires. 

You are gone from my vision, but never from the eye of my mind, nor the heart of my soul.

 You are eternally loved. 

-Haviva (Cheryl P.)

(C) HVM (2018)

Float

 Floating Free~

"I'm not sure I can do this,"
she softly said
"they've damaged my heart
and broken my head."

"I hardly sleep
as one normally would,
my mind races past
for a feeling that's good"

A sharp jagged pain hits
hard and too fast
this terrible treatment
can't possibly last

Are there actually those
who find joy in my grief
and refuse to give comfort
or any relief?

Only those blessed
with fortunes
easily spent
can buy themselves
victims or a judge
they can rent

The lies that they tell are
frequent and brash
they spread them around
like vermin with trash

My anger is seething, but then
I just cry
I can't understand why my
heart won't just die.

If I only knew that you're
thinking of me
I'd float from my house and
come set you free.

~Haviva

(c) HVM 2019

Pie and dinner

 I was making the pie and dinner. I am waiting for it all to be finished. I miss you. I wish I could see you. I miss you to bits!!!!

Hugs and love!!!

RLS

  I stopped working so I could peel apples to make a pie.  

I will use the peels to make apple cider vinegar. 

My hands feel all pruny from washing things. 

My favorite glass measuring cup broke in the wash water and I reached in and managed to cut my finger. It was very messy.  I will glue it and use it for dry measurement. I bought it in Monterey in a shop where they sold Revolutionary War times replicas. I saw it had cracked, so I was not surprised it broke, but sorry it had. I love that area of Monterey. It is so historic. They have a place where Robert Louis Stevenson lived for a period of time. The person giving the tour said, 

 "Under the wide and starry sky,

🌃    Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
    And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:
    Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
    And the hunter home from the hill"~RLS

It was the most wonderful end to a tour I ever witnessed. I was very teary.

a smiling heart

 You made me smile. Thank you.

Grind

 I try and stay positive, but that often comes after grinding depression. 

Want

 I wish you were here. I want to hug you.

ALA

 A suggestion/recommendation: in case you don't already, it is a very good idea to take Alpha Lipoic acid each day. I take Nature's Pure since it has both types of ALA in one container, R ALA and regular ALA. Because of the BC scare, I take 1,200 mg daily and at least 1,000 mg vit. C. They fight free radicals and help keep you healthy. It is a very strong recommendation. I want you to be as healthy as you can, because you are so wonderful and because you are so loved.

Always.

Feeling

 I like very much feeling as if we are together at the same time. I love the feeling.

Dog

 My dog is being silly and pulling on a blanket on my lounge chair with her teeth. I think she may have spat up on it somewhat. Ugh, now what? That blanket was just washed! What timing! It is the fate of having a dog, etc. :-)

No evil

 Hello sweet one.  watching old "Antiques Roadshows". I found an old piece of pizza in the freezer for dinner. Doesn't sound too exciting, huh? I wrote a note to my mother, but didn't get it done in time for the post office run by my renter . I thought my peddling machine would have been here today, but no. Then Monday is a holiday.  Does it give you a day off?  I think the Capital invasion got me down. I suppose it has done that to a lot of people. It is too much confusion and upheaval. Wouldn't it be nice to have peace and calm and no evil people. 

Here

 So, Friday night and what was on your agenda? I suppose there is not much choice. Usually I am here.  

I even miss you here.....

Painting

 "None of my trees are happy; they're miserable!"  

~"Painting with John" 

Looks like a fascinating HBO show. (I finally broke down and got HBO instead of finding bits and pieces on YouTube.)

A curmudgeon with talent going native. 

Desires

 I was watching some Australian guy on YouTube making liquor and rice wine. I like the idea of making them, but I think I might have a problem drinking them. I think I like the idea of skipping the store for the most part of a liquor. I used to enjoy wandering around BevMo. It was about as exotic as I could get. I used to carry around Greek ciggies just to be a tad bit exotic, or cloves. I didn't smoke them except the cloves at rare outings with friends. Sometimes we would go to the clubs and dance together. It was weird that men would get so belligerent if women sat together at a bar and didn't want their company. Some man actually sent over a bottle of Dom and expected nothing in return; he did want a sip of it though. 

Listening to people talking about Covid. It breaks my heart. I know I would not survive. 

I am so worried I will never see you again. I hope that is not the case.  My heart hurts as is. I would love it if we could go into isolated places and see beauty and be able to be around someone who appreciates the other and treats them with respect. We are human first with feelings and desires. They count too.

I love you.  

Hi

 Hi!

Just working on and off with household stuff and watching YouTube programs (mostly news) and some interesting homemade things. It gets me used to the idea of homemade "anything possible". 

Haven't had much of an appetite, except for sweets. 

I was thinking about your hand on mine. It was the most romantic, lovely thing I ever had happen. It is my erotic thought. It was so sweet and pure. I have loved nothing like it ever since. It makes me weak in the heart. 

I so adore you.

Day

 Hi Cutie!

How are you?

Making some tofu and turkey spaghetti sauce. Resting a moment for slightly upset stomach. 

They play poems on the Fire TV. Right now, "Captain O' Captain".  Edgar Allan Poe., "Dream within a Dream", "The Open Road" Walt Whitman.

You brighten my day thinking about you and my heart pound harder.

Well, back to spaghetti sauce. Enjoy the day! 

 Paris would be lovely.

Roses

 I was feeling so congested, I was becoming afraid I was wondering if I was coming down with Covid. I finally fell back asleep. Now, I am breathing better, but just have a bit of a tickle. 

Good thing I got the new carpet cleaner, since my dog got her relief on it. She never used to do that, but she has had to stay alone when I have gone to court and I put pads around for her to use. Now maybe she thinks it is all a pad. 

My dog, Piper, was the biggest, furry dog, like a sheep dog and he liked to sit on my shoulders when he was a baby, but he still wanted to do it when he was big too.  He stuck his head into a bush when we were in line for a vaccination clinic and pulled something out.  It was a man's Gucci watch! It was real! I think I gave it to my husband. It may still be in his jewelry box. I should look. I think it needed a new leather band. I have no idea why I thought about it.

That dog ended up with a weird tumor (I guess) on his throat. It would bleed and I would put a baby diaper with hydrogen peroxide on it. It went away! That was the strangest thing!

 I kinda lost faith in vets after two of them cheated me and one pretended my cat was still alive when I found out that it was dead and propped up against the back of the cage. That was awful. The clinic was shut down. The other one did extensive work knowing my cat had no chance in Hell of survival. I paid, but was not happy. Her guts were hanging out when she came back home after getting out, so it was awful driving to the vet. My son was screaming because the cat got out of her towel and had guts hanging. I do not know why I got on this jag, but I figured it was a writing exercise, if nothing else.

Anyway, back to work. 

Is your day going nicely?  

I suppose the government is still under armed guard. I was going to send Nancy Pelosi roses like the last time she became Speaker, but I suppose it might not be the thing to do now. (Nice, historic letter she wrote.)

Sounds like things are heating up in Trump Land.....more soon!

Sending love.

No Internet

 They make you say things.

(The Internet kept going out)

Gone

 Trump is so vindictive, I worry about Nancy Pelosi. The GOP has gone insane. 

Food

 I saw a news report that said one in five older people are going hungry. I am not going to feel bad for sending my mother food. She has me knee jerk reacting, because she gets very upset when I send her something. Last time she said she didn't want me to send her something, I had bought her a nice robe. She said she didn't want me to buy her clothing. She went overboard trying to make me feel bad. She underlined negative words many times. It was a Christmas present! I sent one thing from all of us. Everyone else seems to just take and take and not think of giving at all.  I guess people have gotten out of the art of giving.  But, right now, I am especially concerned. I don't want her to go to the store. This is not gift giving; it is survival.  I gave her enough to last for awhile. Screw it. I can't make her like me.

Ick, that rum in the Piña Colada is making me feel sick. Mistake!

Piña Colada

 The Piña Coladas were yummy! I cannot remember when I last had one. Ever had one?  

Wringer

 It is interesting that the more I think about things, the more I feel closer to you. I read the old emails and think about how things were, until people tried so hard to make things ugly. It was the weirdest, scariest feeling. It was like trying to pull something up with a spider web. You just keep grasping, but the web just disappears. I knew that when I could not stay at a hotel the night before needing to go to court, so I stayed at the hospital nearby. Each time I started to doze off, someone came by and made noise. I know it was no mistake, just as when the janitor parked a vacuum type machine and it blew all kinds of garbage at me and he just left it there, so I had to move all my stuff. I felt awkward enough, but I knew people had been alerted to make me uncomfortable. I was so sick in the car hours later. (It was a conflagration!)  So many times I tried to find a safe place to sleep in the car, but there is no such thing. I always had some kind of weirdness happen. It was such an endless stream of farcical court hearings. I guess they were just supposed to wear me down. It wasn't fun. I went through the wringer.  

Nothing

 All I want to do is talk with you all night. Why can't that happen? I remember saying that I could talk with you for hours and hours. Can't that happen? Look how long it has been.  My heart hurts over it.  They act like I am scum. I don't care what they think, but this has been beyond cruel. 

Does she really figure you should live like a prisoner forever? Maybe you are no longer like that. I don't know. I know less than I did.  If nothing else, please let me say hello.

I suppose I should just never expect anything nice to happen to me ever again. . I am nothing. Oh well. Be happy.

you are loved.

Any

 I am in the mood for a Piña Colada! It is my son's birthday today!

I wish you were here!

I wish it so very much! 

I miss you more than you can know! This is illegal! No reason to abide by ANY of this!

Over

 Are you okay?

I hope your day is going well.

I am doing a lot of writing today. I will also looking for papers. 

Please be at the next "thing".  Let's get this over. Okay?

Blessing

Go somewhere for work they appreciate you! You could be on your own. I would so love to take care of you and make you understand how it feels to be loved and cherished. I would do anything you want, or need. You have been my blessing, I want to be yours.

This

If we both refuse to abide any of this false law, we could undermine both the assholes and they would be left to sit and spin! Either that, or just live in a bad situation. I mean, if they have been busted, that is one thing, but I have no idea. But, why not tell me and why still be doing this? 

They have broken the law with their behavior.  Why not break their false law. I am getting tired of it all. You are not being brave and I do not know why. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? A two bit hood is running your life. 

Will you help me, or just wave as I go to jail? 

Frankly, after you betrayed me, how can I trust you again? That was a slap in my face and a knife to my sole.  With crooks you abide by their wishes, to me, who loves you, you just smacked in the gut with a baseball bat. Really? Is that how you treat good people? You are better than that. That woman is insane, she will kill more than your mother. She is still going after me. Think she would stay quiet against false law? Save yourself and save me, okay? I know they have everything stacked against me for this false court thing.

Ever

 There were such chaste times spent together and I was so shy. You were so much fun and so charming. I loved reading the old books together. 

The best part was looking into your eyes. Nothing could ever top that. Ever. 

Track

I bought an exercise machine that I will truly use more often! It is a portable version of an exercise bike, but it is only the pedals. It can be used for arms as well as legs. I have been spending too much time sitting, so I figured I'd better do something. I may be getting back on track. 

I still feel like crying all of the time though. I hate it.

Happiness

 Have a lovely day!

I hope that only happiness is in the future, no more sadness and tears.

Soon

 Please try and speak with me soon. Will you? 

Dark

 I keep wondering what happened. I am still in the dark. I don't know if I still need to write to ask for your protection, or if you actually are safe. 

I would be changing the locks and buying a German Shepherd. 

DU

 I don't understand why you don't try and reach me.

Final

I guess I keep hoping you will save me. I am tired of being abused. Just seeing that false testimony was the final straw. That man is a cancer.

It has to prove to you that abiding by his false law does nothing but get you in deeper and makes it worse for me too.

He seems like a part of a terrorist organization.

Cherished

 Each time I step outside on a bleak and cold night, I think how miserable it would be to be sitting on the beach with nothing but the clothes I have on to protect me. It makes me feel how grateful I am to have warmth and shelter.

It makes me think about how Karen Blixen would push herself to the brink of despair and then push it a bit farther to feel really miserable to see how much she could stand.

I don't need to do that. I have been to the edge many times; this experience has taken me from immeasurable happiness to immeasurable sadness, so many times, happy reality, won't be believed. 

You will be a beautiful dream I will always cherish.  

Keep

 I wanted to reach out and hug you and keep you safe. I wanted that so badly. 

Liars

Of course, if that a-hole attorney goes and changes court testimony, that means he never thinks the truth will be told, or the person telling the real testimony, will never show up.  Liars have a lot to do to keep their lies hidden.

Article

 I have to rest for awhile, for some reason, I am not feeling well. 

Made my bread and soup, but just can't eat it. Guess it will be dinner.

Carpet cleaner put together, so that will be next.

Nancy gave the Senate the article of impeachment. Now what.....nothing?

No limits

 I think I am going to make some fresh bread and some creamy soup with the chicken I cooked last night. It is a rainy day, so that combo sounds nice. I hope you are well. The thought of seeing you again keeps me going. Be strong. The limited life will be over.

My take

 I hope you are very well today.

I am going to go through more emails to find what I need. I love them too, until things begin to get upset in them, because the screws have been turned. My life became so lovely with you as a part of it, then it abruptly turned sour. I was passed from one doctor to another and then they would begin saying I should leave you alone. Some of the visits ended in shouting and crying. I did not ask for them to begin treating me like a foreign spy, but I DID sense that MP was present somewhere. She is a heartless monster, like all the rest. I knew her specialty; it gave me many long hours of thought. (It moved me into a new world of thought.)  To me, it seemed like it merely moved people into a life without options. It should not mean that a person is branded. All I knew is that I felt like I had known you forever and was there to be someone upon whom you could rely. I would never intrude upon what your heart wanted, but to be a shoulder, or friend to not feel alone. My own love would just be in the background as a part of the scenery. But, after I spoke with MP, I exposed my feelings, since I knew she had to keep them to herself. But what has ever been ethical in that place? The most corrupt group of people ever! I resent it for you as an atmosphere in which to live/exist. You have a much higher standard, a purer one; they are hindering your intellectual creativity. I hate them for bringing you down. For making you run and cower, like a frightened animal. They disgust me. 

Family

 http://www.royaltyguide.nl/families/families.htmhttp://www.royaltyguide.nl/families/families.htm

http://www.royaltyguide.nl/families/fam-C/clary-aldringen/claryaldringen1.htm

 Borita z Martinic

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  • o Jan †1577 & Isolde Berka von Dub und Leipa †1560
    • o Jaroslav 1549-/1582 & Johanna Dassiczky von Barchow †1592
      • o Jaroslav 1582-1649 &1601 Marie Eusebie von Sternberg 1584-1634
        • o Barbara Eusebia †1656 & Sezima Jan z Vrtby 1578-1648
          • ...
        • o Alzbeta Korona †1649 &1620 Florian Jetřich Sahrer von Sahr 1598-1653
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        • o Ursula Polyxena &1637 Wenzel Georg Holiczky von Sternberg †1681
          • ...
        • o Maximilian Valentin 1612-1677 &1645 Anna Katharina Bukuwka von Bukuwky †1681
          • o Katerina Barbora 1645-1670 & Franz Ferdinand von Gallas 1635-1697
            • ...
          • o Jiri Adam Ignác 1650-1714 &1679 Maria Felizitas zu Spaur und Flavon 1657-1686
            • o Zusana Renata 1670-1717 &1685 Thomas Zachäus Czernin von Chudenitz 1666-1700
              • ...
          • o Jiri Adam Ignác 1650-1714 &1687 Josepha von Sternberg 1668-1747
            • o Marie Karolina 1700-1785 &1721 Franz Philipp Joseph Kinsky 1700-1749
              • ...
          • o Frantiska Barbora 1652-1694 &1670 Wenzel Norbert Oktavian Kinsky 1642-1719
            • ...
          • o Maximilian Quidobald 1664-1733 &1690 Maria Bonaventura von Althann 1667-1709
            • o Jan Josef Karel 1692-1738 & Philippine von Clary und Aldringen 1705-1758
              • o Frantisek Karel 1733-1789 &1766 Marie Josefa von Sternberg 1746-1823
                • o Marie Anna 1768-1832 &1791 Karl Joseph von Clam 1760-1826
                  • ...
        • o Bernard Ignác Jan 1615-1685 & Veronica Polyxena von Sternberg †1659
          • o Maria Teresia Franziska 1643-1706 &1672 Johann Franz von Wrbna und Freudenthal 1643-1705
            • ...
    • o Eliška †1605 & Wenzel von Waldstein †1579
      • ...
    • o Jiří †1598 & Eliška von Wrbna und Freudenthal

Me too

 My Internet went off for a bit. I was reading emails that I copied and had on my other email address. I loved them so much! They were you being so sweet to me and saying things that really resonated with me. We seemed to click. I want that again. I wanted to be with you always. I love the things you know about. I wanted to impress you with my attempts at poetry. Some were better than others, but there had been such a nice compliment on one that was from a member of a poetry group that I posted on, that gave me more confidence.She said my poem was beautiful and I was very talented! I hadn't remembered it.  Anything I did that was good, I owed to you, because my love was strong and I was in pain. Could we please get back to our normal relationship, only better, soon? Please? I am so aching to see the real you again. I know she is counting on things being different and I won't like it, but I . I don't care. I know you and I love you. It is as simple as that. You are you. No matter what.  I adore you.

I hope you can grow to care about me too.   

Why?

 "If we cease to believe in love, why would you want to live?"

"Romance, beauty, love; these are what we stay alive for." ~Unknown

Evident

 I worked more today than many and am dead tired. I keep waking up early though. What are you doing tonight? No blow back from sending my mother food, yet. I am looking for papers I had. Just when I need them.....

Trump thinks he is going to clean up his terrible 4 years with a few days left in office? He'd better not start a war.....!

I hope I find all my poems. The old G+ site said nearly 500, but it was much less that I copied on my email page. Still looking.  I used to be on a poem site. I think it rather shaped me up to be better. The influence and love were still evident.

Evening

Twice my post wishing you a lovely evening disappeared. I guess what I really want to say is I love you.I hope I am able to see you very soon. I want to make your life beautiful.

Hugs and Love.

Check

 My blog has not been working on my phone, so will check on computer. 

Found

 This blog is going crazy. If I cannot be found here, try FB, or Twitter.

The Ugliness they made me

 

"The Ugliness They Made Me"~

I am the other Elephant Man

I am reviled and rejected

No goodness detected

I am lonely and alone

My inner voice became a moan

I am unsightly to the eye

I was born so I could die

For a moment I lived in grace

But a monster has no caring place

I am shackled by my ugly shell

It's become a living nightmare Hell

No one sees my soul of compassion
or my loving heart

They look at me and viciously
tear me all apart

I don't know why God thought of me
or how I fit his plan

I guess it's just not something
a monster
should
ever
understand.

~Haviva


(c) HVM 2018

Show quoted text

Nice

I just want to have the chance to know you again, if that is your desire too. Then, you could determine if you want it to continue, or not. I think it could be really nice.

I have never been so inspired by anyone before, or cared about them, even through difficult situations that have happened. I think that is too lovely to throw away without further chance given it.

False law

I think we have gone through enough situations to know each other and can be friends without a problem. Why does it seem like I have to prove myself more than most people? I feel as if I am for the most part, kind and understanding. I do not understand what more I must prove. Why can't we go to court together and just say, "we don't need all this restrictive crap over us, we can deal with situations ourselves!" Well, I suppose the short answer is that someone wants to keep in control of you (especially) and me (to keep me away). I would never have said anything had I not been lured into seeing MP. I thought I could be open and honest, since that is the nature of the profession. Funny how crooked people expect perfection from honest people and they are legally bound to certain standards, yet thumb their noses at the rules they are supposed to follow themselves, as if they have a special dispensation to do so. I mean, I have been looked at as the slime of the Earth, for doing nothing wrong. I guess they have their own personalities to plumb for their disparaging false, ugly assessments of others. I think they get a charge out of hurting people and lording over them. They need to have their false law ignored and be freed from it. You knew it was false all along, which means there can be no contempt of court. You do not have to abide by it and neither do I. You CAN stop this!

Hugs & love.

Memory

 Memory Drawer~

My thoughts of you make me warm and happy
but by lingering in reverie too long, happiness slips away, like a fading sunset, and dark sadness moves silently in to take its place. It becomes engulfed in the vast emptiness of my soul.
You are gone.

It is a delicate balance that keeps me surviving. I need to know at what point my decadent indulgence in thoughts and remembrances of you becomes too much; crossing the fine line between Heaven and Hell. One step too far, and divine turns to despair.

I have a memory drawer in my mind that I on occasion, will allow myself to open and let the memories wash over me the way a sip of an aperitif will send a rush of warmth from my neck to my arms. But then reality hits me that you are no longer in my life, and maybe never will again, and tears run freely, and my heart feels like crumbling.

You were the joy of my existence, and the love in a sonnet
You made each breath have meaning and my life know truth
Your compassion was boundless, and you missed all my flaws
I must now slam the drawer, since the pain has become unbearable.
I will return again, when I feel the pain subsides to a manageable enough degree to allow me to open the memory drawer once again.

Until then, I send my love to you, and miss you each day, you delight of my life.

~Haviva

(c) HVM 2018