I think the cancer med is making me ache. I want to stop it. I think it was meant to cause me to endure side effects I don't think I ever needed it. Suddenly, no one cares about my having surgery. I think it is because I said I wanted the person I most trust there, so now no one asks me to come in for surgery; what could that mean? More torment, disfigurement, death, brain dead? It must mean something bad.  I just cannot believe the cruelty of the people around you. I cannot go there for any definitive answers about my condition. I must wait and wonder. I have an aura of sadness that lingers in my being, because my heart misses you.
Be well. Very well.