Perfect

 I am trying keep it together. This false TRO is making me feel worse. It not only harms my health, but it takes away finances from my household and friends who have been depending on me to help them financially at this time. I cannot be okay, while others are suffering. I cannot feed myself while others are hungry, not even animals. I cannot even be of comfort to my mother on a regular basis. We did not have a close relationship anyway, but she does not want to hear about my troubles, so I call and sound falsely cheery and don't know what to say. This thing is the biggest problem and issue in my life, next to the way our country is under demolition by the one who is supposed to be protecting it. 

Some days I feel like I cannot go on, like I am falling apart. It is affecting my friends too. I never got a text message from my friend using all caps and 4 letter words before. She is sweet, quiet and caring, but now, I have her enveloped in my crap. I was looking for a kind word and support, but I never stopped to think it might affect her, or my son. I know this has harmed him and his peace and serenity. This has been a tiny ripple of shame and disgust that has spread out and gotten larger in its sphere of negative influence. It amazes me that people like that attorney and that self-centered woman can just keep doing this to someone they know did nothing. If they think I want anything, they are wrong. I want to be able to enjoy the smile of my friend and the warmth of his kindness. 

Dr. Moayeri is responsible for making her relationship good, but she obviously doesn't care enough to do it and thinks  even neglect should make him happy. People are not pets where you can just give them the bare necessities and they would be grateful for it; humans need attention, caring, affection, respect, show an interest in them, at the very least. Love would sure be nice. I feel that she only wants an income making pet, not a human being, she can't be bothered, in fact, she doesn't sound like someone who could handle a dog, or a cat, thay do need affection, and create some messes. I saw the perfect pet for her, it slithered across the sidewalk a couple of days ago.....