"They" were trying to obscure the main focus of the time restraint by using cruelty and all the rest to dissuade me, but they are not people who understand trust and belief and love, so they figured that by making life hell, I would bail early. I know I did some things wrong, but I figured that they were trying to harm me and using the friend idea as a means to scare me off with jail and the yelling and threats, etc. They did not know that my worry was for you and it kept me going, because it scared me so much. (I still worry). I make a fuss to make sure everyone knows that if you are harmed, who would be the prime suspects. I have made certain everyone has you in their radar. Good, or bad, I have no idea, but it was all I knew to do. I used the means I had available. I reiterate it all the time. My focus is to keep you safe. Until I see you again, and you are safe, I still feel on alert. Then, you can decide if you still want to be my friend, but I will always be there to help, should you desire, plus I will always have my home for you to share too. 

I feel a more comfortable kind of love and caring. I feel like I have become less frantic that way. I just want to be anyone you want me to be, but your smile has always melted me. It angered me to think of you being pushed around. It looked like that was the case.