IND

 I want to do anything I can to help, but I am worried that I have an unknown quantity. I don't even know if I can arrange a car. I know who has had the upper hand and that needs to change. I like to be able to have things worked out in advance. I think that this dumpster thing is supposed to shake me up. I never thought it all would be this strangling and upsetting. It is hard to have everything be so one sided. I don't even know the smallest of things; most of the time I am winging it from my imagination. I am shut down from the usual help I have to try and utilize the old and make it new. They knew it would shake me up with the slamming me down. How could it not? Handing someone the keys to freedom and have them thrown into the ocean is pretty damning and terrifying.  I had something very different as happening in my mind. I am tired and discouraged. I may be sick. I want to help, not have to arm wrestle to accept something good and freeing. I know, chaos is weird and confusing and that seems where I am residing right now. I want to help, so much. Help me. I will do anything. Don't hurt me, I am not able to handle it as well. They will make you do it, will you? I cannot mean too much. Ask her to have a meeting with us all. Won't your family talk sense into her? The predator has already gotten his claws in. I need dependability. I love you so much, but I need cooperation.