DSYS

 Even though my world is only in my head, I can pretend it is you coming to see me. I need to do it. Being without you has been the hardest thing in my life. The saddest thing and the scariest thing and the most worrying thing. i bought a music box for a friend and it was supposed to be Lara's theme, but it was actually, "You light Up My Life".which was more corny than the other, but it makes me think of you; since that is what you have been for me.

It hurts that things have ground down to a small visitation, but I am grateful for something; it just makes me worry that you are being squeezed harder and hurting more, or other worrying reason that is sadly selfish of me. I miss that sweet smile you used to give me and the concerned things you'd say and do. You became the most important part of my life and never stopped.

I am sorry if telling you how I feel may be tiring, but it is a release for me.The tension is so difficult to handle. I have never had such a serious thing to deal with in my life and had to feel so bad about it. What a strange punishment for something I could have just been told about; not had the life crushed out of me and every small thing that makes a life a life into a cruel joke?

I do not know what the future brings, but you are too much of a lovely, kind hearted marvelous person to stay with someone as cruel and as plain awful as she; it would be a waste of the love and energy your family put into bringing you up Just o have that hideous individual suck the life out of you. It breaks my heart. She is just strange and pure evil.

Don't sell yourself short; you deserve someone who appreciates you and knows how to love; not someone with murder lurking right behind the mask or fake smile. You need to show your children what normal is like. I was told you took time off work to go to their games; you are a stellar dad. That is love.

"when life pulls out the run, we can hold each other up"