Of course, I worry about what I say. But when I feel weird pains and achiness, it tests my health resolve. Everything feels tentative, quicksand. I feel like something is always lurking in the shadows waiting to challenge, or strike. I know my decorum is not as present as I would like, but it seems to end up at bare knuckles at times.
I pray for strength and patience. I must, or else despair and fear will overrun my thoughts. I need to just be certain you are okay and the rest is out of my hands. Love is a constant and I will attempt to let it rule me in all things. It is lofty thinking, but I feel pretty helpless right now. "Be well" is not a casual wish, it is a desperate prayer for you first, and everyone else after. You are always my first concern. Love.