I would just like all the craziness over and be able to speak like mature, grown adults, if you agree to it. If not, I don't understand what all of this was about, except that person who does not want me alive and has been going to a lot of trouble to try and make it happen. I had to fight hard not to succumb to despair and the terrible attacks on me and now with the medical terrorizing and a scary diagnosis, but unable to trust them about it. People like that, organizing such terrible torments cannot be trusted at all. They seem insane. How can they live with themselves otherwise? It has to be a money reason, because love doesn't let you use, humiliate, frighten, or terrorize a loved one. I think that person is a criminal, but mentally deranged, but a court really needs to determine it. It can't be ignored, or your life will never be safe. Put together all the vicious attacks on me and it is amazing I am alive.

During it all, though, I felt an aura of caring and protection, that kept me going. I know it was from you and it made me love you even more. I cannot tell you how many times you brought me back and kept me alive. Also, being in love with you was the most amazing experience ever! Even now it is still the same way. It just feels natural to want to keep you safe. Pretending I write to you, has made me have the same closeness to you as ever and kept me feeling connected and from losing hope. You kept me going, because I have you in my heart and I so dearly want to see you again.