I guess I should not expect anything. I would probably never hear anyway. I will just sell everything, buy an RV and disappear forever. It is making me too nervous wondering if you want to see me, or not, or if I will just die of cancer. I have put up with so much, I just can't take the last amount of time left calmly. It is killing me.  I am just so damn sad. All I have heard for the last few years is what an awful person I am and I am tired of it. It has been tearing me apart, but my worry was focused on you. I cannot imagine a world without you in it. It would not be as lovely a place. It doesn't need me, it needs you. You are love.