I would hope that if you don't like me, or have forgotten me, that you will let me know and drop the thing. I need to figure out how my heart will survive. I guess I would disconnect my emotions and live out my time helping others in some way. I would always have an enormous ache that I would try and keep in the background and only visit the memories when I can find the strength. That is what I do now to a degree, but you can tell when I've weakened, when I keep sounding extremely emotional.
I have been holding in my tears, more, or less, because my crying is so awful and deep and I think it scares my renter.

It is, on my part, extraordinary how I have dealt with everything and not expired. It isn't kind of them to keep worrying me for your safety, or what is going to happen. I have no idea, but I am not going to stop my care and concern merely because it is difficult. Love is not fair weather. I could not live if I did not stop bad people from hurting you. I would not want to.