Missing you has been like an itch under a cast.  It drives me crazy, but I can't do anything about it! Talking to your picture, praying....writing, like now. This has been inhumane. The worst thing was having awful people tell me how much you dislike me.  They knew how to torment me.  They knew my feelings were real due to the lie detection. I handed them my own method of torture. I did not know how to pretend I did not love you. Besides, if I did that, what would you think?Give me more lie detection, it will come out the same. I can't fake feelings like that. It just isn't possible for me. I have a hard time not showing my feelings too. I mean, come on! Your amazing dark eyes just drew me in and when I was there, I did not want to leave. It was like a caress. I need a caress/hug so badly right now. I was around so many people who were interested in me for many years while I was in the tech industry, but I just did not feel anything back. Finally when I did, you, I stupidly confessed it to a (criminal) psychiatrist (?) which put me on the path to terror. I thought letting her know I was sincere with my feelings was a good thing, but I did not know it was the worst. That gang doesn't understand love, unless it is about money. I think they would have approved of that; like vultures feasting together.