I want to pick up where we left off, only better....without spies and with everyone safe and you as a friend I love, if it is also your desire. Those times were so weird, but that thought helped me get through as well as your kindness. They tried to beat it out of me, but it didn't work. It helped me understand faith in someone and someone higher. It was all I had to survive. I don't want to remember the hard times, they were awful. I just want to look forward to knowing you again and not dying. That weird cruelty of theirs has me confused and too frightened to go back even if I do need help.
 It really is a very strange place there. I suppose my death would make everyone relaxed and the narcissist could feel happy again.