I kept being blamed for all of this, but I could not stop worrying and it just felt so natural to seek your assistance. It seemed so natural to be around you. I resented the interfering in our personal things by others. I never knew there were such restrictions. That was odd anyway. I just felt people had the right to live their lives as they wanted. Man, was I wrong! It would have been nice to enlighten a person, not just treat someone like a criminal. It isn't natural. I would have done anything for you, still would. I have never felt so close to another human being as I did/do to you. 
It is not easy to lose someone like that, but I only want what is wanted. I have decorum, even if my heart beats like someone on bongos!