I want to see you and my wish would just be for you to stay away from everyone and be safe. I don't know what is happing in your life, but I wish I did. I wish I could have the right to say I wish you were here. I wish I didn't always have to be in the dark. It is a terrible time. If I knew I were going to see you, nothing could stop me, even walking barefoot all the way there. If I go there for the first 11:15 appt, I would need to leave the night before and sit all night and wait. I don't want to to that. I wish they would have someone call me. I need to know if I would be up a creek if I don't go because of cancer. I am a bit congested, but I go nowhere. My right breast is hurting, but they also poked the shit out of it, so I expect it. I will see if I can get the tests done in Santa Rosa. Please just stay safe. Ask the authorities to end this thing. We have both been through so terribly much. I wish I knew how and what you are doing. I don't want to lose you. Take care of yourself and those you love. I wish I were one of them. My heart breaks each day that goes by.  I have loved you for a long time, but all I can do is dream about you. Sending my love to you. Sorry.