Remember when I was waiting for an MRI and I sent you a quote by Henry Rollins and you said, "I didn't know you were into punk rock!" That was fun. I was always so amazed that you remembered nearly everything I said to you and I remember everything you said to me too. It felt like you knew what I was thinking too. That was so nice. Looking into your warm, dark eyes was even better, (except the time you looked sad.) I miss that so much. I was starving myself to lose weight, so I could make you proud of me....and we high fived the weight loss. You always tried to make me feel better about myself. I think if I had your eyes to look into all of the time, I could accomplish anything. I melted around you and my bp went crazy. I tried to overcome my flaws, but it seemed like you didn't care about them. It was the absolute best time of my life. I never felt so pampered and cared about before, until you. It was like a dream. I knew when they made you act mean. It hurt horribly, but I knew it wasn't you. It was a set-up by disgusting people. I know those people have no remorse for the bad they do. Cold blooded. Murderous. Only what they want matters to them. They used you and it terrifies me.

I don't want to die before seeing you again; life could not be that cruel, could it?