I seem to have developed a strong sense of resiliency. I guess I have become so tired of dealing with panic and despair, I just refuse to even entertain them. Losing you was the worst thing I could have happen, but being taunted about it was hard to fight. Who does that? A monster, that is who.
Maybe if you tell her that you have lost any friendly feelings toward me, she will lay off. She has been hurting you for a long time, though, huh? If you told me what she has done to you; I would want to smack her in the mouth, or worse. I don't truly "get" the surgery she did, but I can guess (and have been) she treat you like a dog? God, I hope not, but it would make absolutely no difference to the way I feel about you. People have alluded to it for awhile now. It just enrages me for you. I keep wondering if you are going to stay where you are in danger. Please don't she cannot take your home away from you, but you certainly could take it away from her. Did she ever mistreat the children? I cannot imagine her carrying them, so surrogate? Her sister's work may have even played a role, right? That is one fucked up family who raised such a mentally ill woman. You should have her in for a psych evaluation.
ReplyDeletetake care of yourself; working on the SM CLMS CT papers. Please come and free yourself. I love you. Plese give me signs. I need them to go on.