Well

 I have been worried about you. You seemed in a bad mood, or place, but that is just my thinking. Sometimes I just pull it out of the air, or base it on my own thoughts. It is a difficult situation. Whenever I have felt positive about how things will go, the floor drops out from under me, or it all. My renter woke me awhile ago and said we were running late. I said "we don't leave until Monday." But at first I was startled. Things are in a jumble, so I panicked for a moment. I was up until the sun was beginning to show itself. I am a chronic night 🦉 owl even more than usual. My friend said she has gotten that way too. I actually began doing that when I was on chemo and stayed at K in Santa Clara, sometimes weeks at a time, going on for a year. I had to drink water by the pitchers full to a bizarre point. I had the room set up like I was at home. I think bringing a sound machine helped block out the noise a lot and created a nice atmosphere. Everyone should have one there if they want to create a more pleasant environment. I also had potpourri and my own pillow and throw. Then other times I just went to the infusion center for most of the day.

I really messed up my kidney on one side. It has been hurting on a regular basis. I am doing what I can. I took so much vit. C it was crazy. I was so afraid I had cancer. I went so overboard. It was a scary time. I am still baffled by the people who were involved in the lie. Didn't they understand that backing the lie meant they were trying to harm me? What other reason could there have been? Prank surgery, ha, ha? I was trying to avoid it with supps and overburdened my kidneys. That med was not nice either. That is serious stuff. That cannot go unpunished. Someone could die. I think it was the idea. Brings the phrase, "I'd kill for you" to a whole new degree. I have been changed in several ways. I just noticed I left the TV going. There goes the bandwidth! I was running on fumes anyway. Not bad picture for the situation...."Antiques Roadshow UK" 24/7! It runs better if I don't turn it off, it seems. Guess it will be my next life. Not a bad Heaven.

I love feeling like I am conversing with you. It is a back and forth in my mind. It is natural to think of you, even if I were shy in person. I don't want to be shy, but it is not my call. I just want to thumb my nose at those who think they are in charge. I am sick of it.

I hope you are very well. Sending my love and regards.