I am too

 I know that was a long time ago for the video, but seeing someone for whom you have the highest regard just reaming you out and repeating the lie and the awful things, was pretty devastating. It changes nothing about the way I feel about him, but I do feel broken even further. I expected to be attacked by the enemy, but it was unexpected having it come from the one for whom whom I felt such reverence, that laid the lowest blow.

My sheer terror I had felt for him and his safety has been at the forefront of my life for all those years. As long as he is safe and happy, then I am too. 

I will love you until I no longer have life in me and I believe that some form of life goes on into eternity.

Please trust that I do not need a restraining order to respect your wishes. All I have for you IS respect. You saved my life many times over. I am forever in your debt and at your call in need. I will never deny you when you ask. 

Please remove the impediments from me and I will only be seen, or heard from if you desire. I don't care what others think about me. You and I know what is true.