They say edited

So, what changed? If they are saying things (lies) about me now, then you can understand why; the court thing is coming up. They are terrified and will do and say anything to stay out of jail/prison.

What exactly did I do that was worthy of legal restraint? My "crime" was to be grateful to a wonderful doctor who made me want to live again after my husband died and I became a recluse. He was kind to me and went above and beyond for me to help me do better for myself. I cannot have anyone do so much for me without acknowledging it and showing my gratitude. I probably gave around 6 gifts over  the period of years I was doctor Lukaszewicz's patient. One of the most noticeable things about Dr. Lukaszewicz was that he was very respectful and did not belittle me as did many other doctors. He treated me more than respectfully; he treated me with dignity. He was always concerned about how I might be treated and would let the new doctor know that being weighed was a sensitive subject for me. It was a sensitivity for my feelings that I had not been used to before.  It was absolutely delightful and heart warming. I felt protected, cared about.  My husband had drowned, I got a terrible and rare cancer soon after.  Being a widow with a teenaged son was bad enough, but dealing with a very rare and serious cancer soon after, was devastating. I was grateful to a doctor friend for her assistance and her friend too who helped with research at the Lane Medical Library. They came across an experimental chemo by two doctors. One of whom was at UC Davis. My cancer was a child's brain cancer. I asked about the effects of the chemo he said, "I don't know. No one else has ever lived!" 

Dr. Lukaszewicz was someone to whom I was referred for my lipedema and lymphedema situation. He took me from a state of feeling despair and alone, to one of not feeling so alone and scared. He was someone who seemed to care what happened to me. It was lovely. I emailed to him various studies and articles on the subject of my condition and I started a walking group for people with similar health issues, but actually it was for anyone who felt uncomfortable going out walking in nature alone for whatever the reason. More often than not, I walked alone, even though I felt shy about doing it, but I did it by the encouragement of Dr. Lukaszewicz and wanted to make him proud of me, if I did well.  He made me want to do better. I craved his approval. His praise meant everything to me. If I disappointed him, or did anything that made him feel bad; I was devastated and was angry at myself. 

The first four years of "the thing" I cried each day, several times a day.

I don't think I could live if he said I was a problem to him in front of me. I never meant to be. I had no idea. I had never known of a problem rising out of gifts of heartfelt gratitude before. When I told the deputy in jail who asked me why I was there said, "remind me not to give my doctor a gift again!" 

It gave me such joy to see his happiness when he saw a gift I gave him.  Nothing could be better than that feeling. He always made me so happy, I loved seeing him happy too.

This entire thing has me beaten up and gutted. I think a rough court session will do me in. I just cannot take it any longer. I truly feel like dying already. I don't deserve it. I gave gifts and I called to warn him of danger being possibly imminent. That does not deserve prison. Not one bit.

But, the people who made up a breast cancer diagnosis for me and had me so terrified that I took enormous amounts of supplements such as Vit. C and ALA and other things, so much so, that I now have a persistent kidney problem, should be prosecuted.  I was hounded to come and have breast surgery after having been tortured by Dr. Moon who wanted to impart a vile and cruel message to me, which was obviously from Dr. Moayeri (from what was said) while waving a long needle threatenly past my eyes and then roughly removing 5 core biopsy breast samples from one breast and then wound it all up with a mammogram pressing on that profusely bleeding breast, creating a tsunami of blood to the floor. It made a large red lake on the linoleum. My MS, rarely a problem, but this time (and when I went to jail), I got such a dizzy spell, that I started to lose my balance and began to fall. A very attentive assistant caught me before I could hit the floor. 

I was quickly called on a Monday after Friday, and was told I had a serious breast cancer of a 2.5 centimeters size and had to decide what to do. They even had my Obgyn call me and yell at me, "YOU'RE GONNA' DIE, YOU'RE GONNA' DIE!" It was odd, because he had just recently given me an exam, but found nothing! I was told I could take a med while I waited for surgery. It gave me terrible menopause symptoms. It was awful. Then my hair began falling out in chunks. I had a breast cancer expert give me an exam. She said, "you don't have breast cancer, and you certainly do not have a 2.5 centimeter tumor." I had told the surgeon, Dr. Romero,  prior to seeing the breast cancer specialist, that I would only have surgery, if Dr. Lukaszewicz could observe. He is the only person I trust with every facet of my life, (which is why I had given him my Power of Attorney over every aspect of my life and put him in my will) I said that I would be able to speak with him in July (12). (After the false restraining order was over. But Mr. Guasco caught wind of it (actually a part of the plan) and told Dr. Lukaszewicz's office that I could not speak with him, because I had a restraining order against me. The court had already told me there was no restraining order against me. Mr. Guasco was so desperate to keep me from speaking with Dr. Lukaszewicz that he lied and said I was restrained already, but I was not. Mr. Guasco has run each restraining order the same way, with lies and forgeries and cruel behavior toward me. It was obvious who was the sponsor of the R.O.s. from A-Z He even told me that he was happy he got me jailed. I would love to return the favor. I was treated terribly during the entire time. No one ever spoke with me, they yelled at me. The Judge called me a stalker, cleared the courtroom and reamed me out so badly, I fainted. She said ugly things to me and I could not understand why. They messed with my HOA and must have said ugly lies about me. They kept harassing me and finding reasons to charge me extra money and threaten my security there. "Someone" came into my home and destroyed an antique tea set given to me by Nan Wood Graham, sister of Grand Wood and model for American Gothic. I believe it was destroyed because I had given a cup and saucer from the set to Dt. Lukaszewicz, as a thank you gift for his kindness toward me. The HOA also towed away my older cars and since I could not afford to get them, or even one out, I lost them. My Range Rover had been basically from my deceased husband and it had quite a few items in it that I was trying to figure out where to put them, since my new home is much smaller than my last. So many things were done to me and I know it was Mr. Guasco and Marija M. Petrovic who did a lot of things to make life more of a turmoil and to push me toward my taking my life. I believe that was always the goal. It seemed like nothing less than death was acceptable.

So, when I should have been able to speak with Dr. Lukaszewicz about observing breast cancer surgery, Mr. Guasco lied to all involved and said I was already restrained, then he hit me with another restraining order for basically existing and breathing! I did NOTHING WRONG!  I was NOT restrained at the time I called Dr. Lukaszewicz's office to ask for help to stay safe during surgery, as I did for the gallbladder surgery. (I did not know at the time that I did NOT have breast cancer and did NOT need surgery!)  So, since Guasco is being paid to keep me restrained,by Dr. Moayeri, he is highly motivated, (not to mention the implications of his forging Dr. Lukaszewicz's signature frequently.)  He told Judge Foiles to bump up the offered 3 year restraining order to 5 years. No reason given except, "past behavior" Guasco said. Then, Judge Foiles said, "you will get a fair trial with the DA. That was just as baffling and angering. I have been in  torment and despair for over 6 years, merely because a woman who was afraid of losing an income wanted me out of the way, plus I am a scapegoat for future purpose. Mr. Guasco already blamed me for Dr. Lukaszewicz looking unusually thin, when I had inquired if he had been ill. 

I am tired of being treated like vermin, when I have done NOTHING WRONG! I do NOT hurt people, nor am I untoward!  I gave a few gifts to express the gratitude I could not with words. I have an awe of Dr. Lukaszewicz and huge respect. I never would believe that he would ever be so cruel to give me a TRO, or R.O. He is too refined and elegant and spiritual to do such a crude, nasty thing as to give a TRO for receiving thank you gifts, It would be like kicking Santa in the rear and telling him to F.O. and throw him in jail. 

I never went to Dr. Lukaszewicz's office unless I had an appointment, nor ever his home, nor anywhere else he might have gone. I don't do that. I moved around 150 miles away on a treacherous drive on cliffs by the ocean. I have only gone to court or my occasional health appointment. I cannot go to Kaiser any longer, since it is obvious they want me dead to make Dr. Moayeri happy. Because of that behavior, she is not dealing with a full deck and is abusive from what the police officer said to me. It just added to my intense worry for Dr Lukaszewicz's safety. It has been sincere worry, not frivolous behavior. 

I behaved with decorum and so did Dr. Lukaszewicz. If Dr. Moayeri had insecure issues, she should have worked it out and actually spoken with Dr. Lukaszewicz, but instead, she hired her psychiatrist friend to come and interrogate me for bits of information that could stir up her anger toward me. I was supposed to have confidentiality with the things I said to Marija Petrovic, but I did not. She betrayed me to Dr. Moayeri, which is the reason she came back to Kaiser SSF. Then she manipulated me toward killing myself.

When one has the type of espionage sneakiness and cruelty, to which I was subjected, one has to "up their game" or die. I was treated badly by many people at Kaiser SSF. It was awful, but I grew used to it. I just did not like nurses jabbing me with needles so hard that I actually saw lights in my eyes and terrible pain in my arms. I never saw such a large group of people who did not mind saying weird things to patients, or physically hurting them.

I told the surgeon, Dr. Romero that I do not have cancer, but she still has her office call to get me to come in. Why? So I can be poisoned, or put to sleep and killed? Why? Why do people have such strange dedication to a monster? I have never seen anyone other than Dr. Moayeri (or Trump) who has such a loyal following willing to harm people for her.  It is scary. No one should be working in that snake pit! It is dangerous.  People like Guasco and Moayeri dramatically lower standards. They need to stop, before they find their next victim....and they will!