All I know is that the way I always felt around you was nothing less than magical. I wanted to be near you all the time. I just could not get enough. I wanted to hear anything you had to say, but looking into your eyes, was incredible.
I just felt where I belonged.
Not enough lovely adjectives for you.
You could not believe how much I miss you.
If I did not at least write these things to myself and have my prayers I would not have lasted this long. I find innocuous ways to get by. My happiness is when I know you are safe, well and happy.  But my heart hurts from missing you.
I was so enjoying life knowing you, but now I get (got) people screaming in my face like a drill Sargent telling me how you want nothing to do with me. Believe me, if you told me that yourself, you would never have to see me again.You don't anyway. I just sit here, yet I have often been made to sound like Public Enemy Number One. When those people want to railroad a person, they go all out. It is the desperation that is so weird. Some of them seem absolutely apoplectic!