Very sunny day today. At some point, maybe I will go for a walk by the ocean. My dog isn't much into it. Last time I took her she seemed either tired, or frightened and wouldn't budge. I carried her most of the way. I had one dog, when she got old, I would put her in a shopping cart that was left by the house and wheeled her around. She seemed to enjoy it. I had been told that she had belonged to a homeless woman and was found under someone's front porch. Such a cruel world. Everyone should have food and a place to live and feel safe, even doggies and cats.

Sometimes I don't feel like I belong anywhere. During this thing it really seemed that way, with everyone screaming at me and saying awful things about me that weren't true. Then they managed to even get the people in this complex to join in. It was obvious. Many were cold and actually strangely cruel from the start. I was baffled, but I had already been treated so badly by the people running the show with the faux legal thing, that I had been preconditioned. Someone wanted to take their anger out on me, so it was done. I knew I did nothing wrong, so I figured I was a scapegoat. How very odd. Then to be told I wasn't liked by you and the thing could last forever, was a very unkind parting blow. There is something very evil and twisted about people who can do that, like the (former) security guard, now janitor, who would have me followed around and would never let me even let me rest on a bench without telling me to leave. Even after my surgery, he would not let me sit on a bench to wait for a ride home. That place is under the control of some strange, cruel people. It's why I worry about you. They are predators.
Stay safe. Thanks for always being helpful and trying to make things okay for me. I have always understand subtleties, but not always right away.  You are very wise. The fact that you have always cared to help to make me understand has been a great help against despair. Maybe it is wishful thinking, but sometimes my heart will start beating hard and I get breathless and I think you are wishing me well. I get that way when thinking about you too. I always felt a close connection to you. I ask for your safety each night and for my love to be sent to you. I know I am heard.