I know I am writing to myself, but I miss you so much, I need to pretend I am talking to you.

I hope I haven't done anything to make you upset with me, I worry about you and it makes me try and figure things out. This has been a long, horrible wait. All I can do is pray. I know I run the chance that you don't remember me, or you just could not  give a crap, but my hope and faith feel so strong. I think about the amount of time left and it makes me so sad. I keep thinking about what I will do at the end, if you aren't there and I never see you again. I do think I will go wandering and wait out my time. Always with you in my heart and mind.