If you hate me, let me know....okay? I know I mess up ..I am doing the best I can. I hope you believe me. I am going around in circles and am so emotional. My insides are still in an uproar. I can't last another year. I am so confused, sad, angry...whatever. All I want is for this to be over and see you again. I would be your assistant and do work, or whatever, but please give me a chance....okay? I know that my gut is worse for wear. I need to stop being upset.  Three + years of torment can tend to hurt a person. I am not a robot. If I were, I would look a lot better, but my heart is kind, loving and warm and full of love for you.