I have been dealing with severe anxiety. I guess that's what it's called. Can't sleep much. It is really tormenting. I know nothing and can only scrape up small bits of info, nothing really. I do get angry at times, it is no wonder after well over 3.5 years of being attacked. I get very resentful. I am sorry. I am worried all of the time, with an undercurrent of sadness. I adore you so much, I would be very sad, if you were mad at me. Life is unbearable as it is. The only things that get me by are pretending to write to you and praying for you to my angel. We both love you. Trust me, because I only want what you want and I want to share everything with you. I hope you perhaps do see this, but I can't count on it, but it makes me feel better somewhat. I am sorry if I say wrong things, but things you had said/did create a lot of worry for you even now and more because of the cruel predators. I always feel I must impress upon people the seriousness of this situation. I don't want them to ignore the situation. All I care about is your safety, so people look out for you. At least many know the situation. Even a deputy in the elevator spoke about it to me. No one can get away with harming you....It has been my mission. It is what I would be so happy doing in person too; keeping you safe and happy.
I never knew anyone I wanted to care for so much like this. Please give me a blanket absolution. I will attempt to make it up to you for the rest of my life and it would be my joy.