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I am going to get back to riding my exercise bike, and not just use it as a coat rack... :-)
I have just been so sad that I could not face getting on the bike. Everything is neglected. I had to exercise like mad to lose weight before, plus eat tiny bits of food. I was always on the verge of passing out. I wanted to please you so much. Our air "high five" certainly pissed off that assistant, but I loved it. I know that things were being watched by then. It had not been pleasant. I don't know how that behavior can be justified. As long as you though well of me; that was all that mattered to me. You are the one who matters to me. I like your way of thinking about various subjects, and I like your environmental ways. You are subtle about it, but it is there. I saw somewhere online that you are a Greenie, like me. I really feel so close to you. I know you are supposed to forget about me, but please don't; it would be the best thing I could think of to see you again. I feel so awful missing you so much. I have bitten all my finger nails off my right hand. It has been THAT awful. These last few months will not be easy either. Please don't let them pull the rug out; It has been awful waiting, especially with people taunting me. I know you suggested the wheelchair, because CS would never have been so thoughtful. I think the books I got were from you too. Maybe a stretch, but they seemed like a clue. I do love you a lot, you know? I loved the cute things you did, and the sweet way you treated me. I feel so connected to you. I wish you could be here for Thanksgiving. Then my thanks would be nonstop! I want to hug you for a very long time.