My excitement during a day is seeing a number.
Anyway, I keep getting people trying to make me go to K, but each time I think someone is going to actually be nice and help me they turn out to be liars. It makes me even more cynical. It makes me worry. I said that I would not have surgery unless it was observed and someone who was supposed to be helping me said, "what if he can't be there?" I thought it wasn't a nice thing to put into my head to worry about, but I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens. I am pretty used to people saying crap things, but it does stick and haunt me. I never think people are going to be mean, but they are. I have no expectations in my life. I am just surprised as anyone about my life as anyone. I know what I would dearly love to have happen, but I could have a shocking disappointment and just be alone and be sad and lonely but I hope I get a chance first. All I can do is hope and pray.