Please don't ever hate me, I try to do the right thing, but maybe I don't. I think I get so upset, I go on autopilot. I get so tired, sad, scared and missing my friend, I also worry. This has been so horribly difficult I think "could I end up never seeing him again, after all this time of using every bit of willpower, faith, prayer to stay holding on, but not making it? You mean so much to me. I cannot lose you, please?
Hugs.