I drive myself crazy wondering if I've screwed up, or something, and made it so my friend will never want to see me again, but then I think he understands my terrible troubles and that I am doing the best I can "flying by the seat of my pants". I have been so messed with, that it makes me understand what you deal with and it frightens me for you. I want you to have a chance to be free and be able to have a feeling of support while doing it. I care so much about you, I want you to know someone who wants to nurture you and know someone who wants you to be able to recover gently from the terrible times to which we have both been subjected. I am sure people have been grabbing at you for selfish motives. I know what it is like to have people pretend to like you for ulterior motives. Predators are the worst. People attacking me to clear the playing field so they can have a better chance with you is reprehensible and it means they don't think they aren't good enough themselves to make you want them. They don't realize that no other choices aren't all that matters in love. I would rather be alone than be stuck with someone I don't love.  It makes life miserable. I thought I would never love again, but then your sweet smile and caring ways and eyes that made me warm from inside out, took over my heart. It seemed too good to be true. Could I possibly be that blessed? I am not special enough in my mind. I get ashamed for actually thinking I am, but my heart battles with emotions and wants to preserve the wonderful feeling it found. I swear, I would fight any evil attacker, or face any humiliation to see you again....I already did many times actually, but to make your life sweet,  I would fight to the death to make it happen. Each night when I pray for you, I promise to be there for you and give my life to you. I won't break that promise. I love you. Be safe.