Saturday, February 8, 2020

I don't want to do anything, unless you approve it.
I hate missing out on everything. I miss you so much.

Friday, February 7, 2020

Sometimes I feel like I am on a car ride and when I'm dropped off I will just be alone and lost.
I truly think that if my lymphedema issues were cleared up, I think my test numbers would be better. Having excessive lymph must have an effect on blood tests.
I wonder if anyone has ever taken into consideration that backed up lymphatic fluid could skew test readings? Has that been investigated? Is that a chicken or egg kind of thing for any of it? My life hasn't exactly been normal for quite awhile now. I am doing the best I can, but my life has merely been survival at times.
Life will begin when I see you again. Life has seriously lost its luster.
I think that when I get "out and about" again, I want to spread kindness. I will take a small portion of my monthly income and do something nice for people. I know it would make me feel good to do that.
Don't mind me, I am in my Happiness Zone, thinking about you.
I would treat you like a king....or at least a prince. You would come before myself, or anyone. Where it comes to you, all my thoughts are about how I could make you happy. Your smile is what lights up my life. (Sounds maybe corny, but I know it is true!)
I wish you were here.
I remember looking down at the top of your head and wishing I could run my fingers over it. I merely gazed with caring and admiration. You are in my heart.
I am thinking about this fraudulent case and am writing about it. It is basically my life now. Then, I take a break and think nice thoughts.....about you. You are the loveliness in my day and the glowing beauty to my night. I love a full moon, because it feels like you and my angel are embracing me and telling me that things will be okay. She is with her loved one and she wants everyone to be safe and happy too. She has been my constant source of strength, of course, along with you. I would not have even made it thus far, otherwise. I think of all the kind things you have done and my heart grows in size. I am forever grateful. I will always be there for you, whenever you need.  Sending love.
Of course, they want to throw me in jail. It would be for a year possibly. I did nothing at all. Nothing wrong.
My feelings for you only get stronger
How could I not love you?
You always made me feel special. You have the most beautiful soul of anyone I have ever known.

Thursday, February 6, 2020

You are in my mind
and the beat of my heart.

I hope you have a lovely day.
The program I am watching is speaking about Dr. Frederick Treves doing an appendectomy on the king. I loved the presentation of the story.
You are the love of my life.
I wish I could see a small sign, one only I can see, is fine I know, silly.

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

I have to express my emotions. It helps me to feel less anxious, I suppose.  It has been more difficult because of the cruel way I was treated by the bad people. It was wrong of them. I know he will never think that way about me, because he knows my heart.
Hugs and love.
They called me obsessed in a report, but it was a return of what I was given; the sweet caring and the concern. I was grateful and in love and I still am, but  only want what he wants..... I would be devastated, but it is something to be accepted. It isn't only me who has a choice. Love is understanding and accepting.
My love will never go away.
I go to sleep with your face in my mind's eye. It feels perfect.
I love organic oranges and grapes and strawberries....
How lovely to be able to have you to think about, during the lonely sad hours. Your welcoming dark eyes, your sweet smile and so many other attributes that I love. I have no real idea how you think of me, but I am in love with you. I am in the disadvantage, not knowing your thoughts about me, but I had a thought, but it is not my decision. Your happiness is all important.
I hope you will keep me in your thoughts. You are firmly in my heart and mind.
I ache to see you. I want to take care of you and make you happy and make you feel very loved. If given the chance, you will....plus laugh and be silly.
Well, in the end Trump was right, thanks to the Republican Senate, the impeachment, as well as their integrity and patriotism is a complete sham! They have mocked our country and our constitution!
I had on a Black Velvet skirt, Black Velvet top and a black silk jacket with gold embroidery and gold shoes and a pearl necklace and Ruby earrings. I was in pain, but I looked good at the bogus meeting.
Please allow me to hug you.
I just think this waiting crap is insane. I know I love you and want to take care of you. I just don't know of you even remember me. :-)

I would love to be able to see you again for my birthday.
I have not been very creative lately. All I want to do is say, "I miss you, I love you." I think all the pain I had been in made my memory banks wipe out and left me with the basics. I swear, I have never been in so much pain, but what was it? Odd. My doggie already needs another bath. My house needs a very intense cleaning. I just cannot find anyone. I can see why most people only vacation here.
There really is nothing important, but seeing you again. My legs are getting better. I mean they are still very large, sadly, but it least the pain is subsiding. I am upset for it taking so long to see you again. That is all I care about.
I just adore you. I love saying that.
Hi Cutie!
All I feel like doing today is sleeping. I am so sad.
What I wonder is that if someone wants to get all worked up and upset about someone paying attention to someone they are worried about losing, how about being nice? How about truly loving them? How about showing appreciation?
I would love you forever and make you my only priority, because that is how I feel anyway.  Just to see your smile again, would be pure Heaven to me. I dream of it.
They let me travel all that way to a false meeting. Who does that? Cruel, heartless people, that's who! I was still in pain!
How could anyone work for K? It has always had a bad reputation, only started to fix it, only to sink back down again with their attacks on people. I could not stomach it. Nor, could I stomach living with a self-centered, cruel narcissist. Was it she who had the young people drive by my house down there and yell at my house? (They yelled, "Bitch & Ho" at my house early in the AM) I thought it was pretty funny actually, but it was also disturbing that someone would get young people involved in something like that. Children should have a chance to be young, not be sullied by problems like that. It is sad that grown up adults will act more childish than children.
I will not get medical help as long as this thing is still in effect. Life is not pleasant any longer.
None of the people in this thing are playing by the rules. Why should anyone else? It is in your name. I need to trust someone. It needs to be you. You should not have your life run by such criminal people.
  • Dear D,
  • It is very obvious that since my case was giving me the opportunity to shed my false restraining order and Mr. Jacome refused to give my defense of it being false and then did not show up to court, it is clear that there is definitely a conspiracy to keep me falsely restrained for a longer period of time, until the false restraining order would have naturally come to an end. What is being done to me is manipulating the law to favor a criminal, Mr. Guasco, for his personal gain by prolonging my being held under a false restraining order. That is legally against the law and morally reprehensible. I want to have a more recent court date to have the restraining order over. This should not be condoned by the DA. I want this restraining order over now. I have been held under a false restraining order for 4.5 years! I am ill and I want this over! I know you are being swayed to help Mike Guasco who is desperate to keep me held under a false restraining order longer. If I went against the restraining order right now, you could not punish me for contempt of court, because the restraining order is false. Do you really want to be found helping a criminal restrain an innocent woman? I will spread my story. Abusing me to help a criminal is not a position you would want to ruin your reputation over. I drove 4.5 hours to go to a bogus court hearing while I was still sick and in pain. You should be better than this. You are thumbing your nose at Justice. I want my rights! This could very easily take you down. It is wrong! Mr. Guasco is very desperate, why? It is not for a legal reason! Don't let your reputation be sullied to help a desperate criminal! I am going to start putting my story out there today!
  • Sincerely,
  • Cheryl Petrovich
The DA and the Private Defender Program hurt women of few means and allow money to buy torture and keep them hostage. That is what your place of business does to you too.....and did to me too.  Do what makes you happy. You are surrounded by bad people. There is no reason you could not back/help me, but you don't. I love you forever, but they have you as a prisoner and as long as you allow it to go on, it will consume you. They want you for what you have. I want you for what you have inside you.....and your forever sweet smile and back home again eyes. If you make a break for it, let me know. I will be waiting with my arms open.

I so love you.

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Everything is postponed. Drove over 4 hours, no attorney, so everyone must come back. I am not happy. I know who is behind this.
I just can't sleep. I am so tired.
I wish this could end. I really need to just live....and look into your eyes again.

Monday, February 3, 2020

I love him with all my heart and soul.
Will I ever see him again?
I cannot stop from thinking how much I absolutely adore you.
Feeling a bit sad and heavy of heart. Wishing you very well. I am walking better, but still have issues. Wondering about getting a doctor, or not. I have no idea, but I will need to get looked at soon.
Looking back at all the (Ill)legal stuff that went on, sure makes me realize how desperate the other side was to keep me tormented and from proving myself innocent.
I always hope that you will stand up for me again, but you need to keep yourself protected. I understand that and do not fault you for it. I never could fault you for anything. I feel that my part in life is to be there for you when you need and keep you safe and be a shoulder. That is love. Just know I will never hate you. I am here for you as long as I am alive and whatever comes next. I just wanted to have more time to enjoy your sweetness, fun and insight.  It is what I long for.
I will never feel anything for you but love.
Just be happy.
This thing has been very hard on me.
I won't drop through the cracks.
You know how cruel they were to me, don't you? They are awful people, they made me so worried about you. It was Hell.
I know I am only talking to myself, but my dearest wish/prayer is to see you again. It has kept me alive all this time.
I love you for your caring attitude toward me.....it blesses me. I know your prayers reach me and heal me. You give me a loving, welcoming feeling and you build me up and want to give back.  I feel a glow.
What meant so much to me was that you looked beyond the cover, you quickly saw into my soul. It was like you already knew me. I felt as if we could communicate without a word. I felt so connected to you. It was the most magical feeling I could ever encounter. I miss that magic. It hurt to have that taken away.  It hurt to have the most wonderful experience of my life end. I was so much at home with you and at peace.....except for my wildly beating heart.

Sunday, February 2, 2020

I pray you will give me a chance. I want to show you that you will enjoy being my friend. I want to touch your heart as you have mine. I just hope I have not done anything wrong to upset you.
"We are all the same."
          ~"The Kindness Diaries"
"They couldn't take away our laughter."~Native Canadian man who had been abused by government anti-native program.
All I know is that I see your heart and your heart sees me. You have been unconditionally kind to me and I want to do the same for you. I have never felt so close to anyone as I do to you.
My life is in Limbo. I have ideas as to what to do. I can only rely on myself, since I cannot make assumptions about anyone else.

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As I mentioned, if I am to be alone, I will sell my home and buy an RV. I would give the portions to my beneficiaries, but I need help getting to that point. I am feeling low.
Please let me see you again. It is what has kept me going.
Trust that I want what YOU want.
"....We are small, but our hearts have a grand capacity for love. I can't imagine my heart being able to hold all the love I have for you. The vast sky even seems inadequate to take on the overflow. I look up and see the breathless enchantment you leave behind and I know I will never be alone, for you are the beauty in every place my eyes find to rest....and my dedicated prayer to you, at last, is answered."
Don't worry, you will never have to see me again, if you prefer it that way. I will not try and see you again, you would have to see me.
I swear, I may not live through this. Maybe I am exaggerating, but it feels serious.
I can't bend my leg. The pain is awful. I wore the leg compression and now it is awful. I walked around at the clinic and did well, but now it is disaster. I am panicking.
My leg has swollen up and hurts like I want to cut it off.
My leg/foot in terrible pain.

Saturday, February 1, 2020


  • I will come back to life when I see you again.
I gave my doggie a bath, so now I am sitting in damp clothes and she is all snuggly in a clean t-shirt and swaddled in fluffy blankies. Poor little thing, still has skin allergies.
I love how thoughtful you have been. I love that you care how I am doing. I love that you try so hard. I love you for being you. I care about you too. I have worried so many hours about you. It has been Hell. I have been so scared not knowing if you were okay, but I think I feel you around me, so then I get a feeling of calm. Sorry if I seem over the top, but my concern for you is never wrong. I don't like the way you have been treated.
Watching, "Wine Country" again. I don't know, it makes me feel good. I miss fun times like that. I would like to go to a beautiful place and just talk to you for hours. I love hearing what you have to say. I want to know your thoughts. I remember saying I loved listening to you so much I could do it all night.
Time apart just makes me feel such anticipation, but it has been much too long. I can hardly wait to see you again.
I hope I never did anything to prolong this thing. I agonize so much as it is. I want it to be over. I want to see you. It has been more difficult than you can imagine, but the thought of seeing you again keeps me going. I may be shy, but don't let it put you off. You know I love you.
You make me feel like nothing is impossible.
You have shown me so much kindness and I appreciate it. I feel loved. But my self-doubt creeps in and I figure you could never go out of your way for me. But you do, because you are sweet and concerned.
I just feel so much love
 toward you and I am afraid to lose you, but I am a reasonable person. I truly do want what you want.
I have been somewhat screwed up by this thing, but I am basically okay. I want to know you forever. You have been so loyal to me. I can't tell you how much I love you. I don't even think I know myself.
I am just me.
I have never trusted another person, the way I trust you.
I go on. I am frustrated since I cannot talk to you and I am worried you have forgotten me, I guess. I felt so connected to you. I know you have done so much to take care of me. You are lovely. Take my desperate sounding written stuff with a grain of salt. I would just like to be given a chance. It has been such a long time....
You saved my life. You gave me so much happiness. You protected me. You made me alive again. I love all the facets of your personality. You amaze me and make me feel so good. I respect you so completely.
I have wanted to hug you forever.
I want to get an RV that can run on environmentally friendly fuel.
I will always do anything I am able to protect you.
You will always be the one I love so dearly.
I figure they put certain security guards in certain new positions, so they can perform certain duties and have easy access to you.
http://email.mg2.lglcrm.net/c/eJxdjk1uxCAMhU8TdkFgIAkLFmmruUbEACVI_ESEWcztS1J1U8mSn5_l588qp_n3BCgoIEAIZRQYZ0JgisWnWKeVcCnkg0oJAyfJA44-mppwdg11uSUdYsh-C3YQH4P4UlcD6CnzMnfRLRTV3tpxDmwd4NGr2PDWGZfq-2CdDUY3N-rRuOpSye_uxpK92V0-9HiBdQdVZcorN3eeR9X-5TqPv75jUxJqSpt7vS1s5jPalZBigskQJsE8pebUafrkVizEMsqYven_jv7R3xm_8D_h6FVk
I always thought that MP's plan was to keep me away to allow someone else, her buddy, to have the freedom to try and lure you to themselves, someone who just wants you for mercenary reasons. I heard how you were spoken about, like you were some prize to be grabbed. I spoke to that person and they spoke about you in a very strange way. It was as if you were some sale item they found first. "Why does he like you more than me?" They said, "I've known him longer!" Then they made up contempt charges and gave them to the attorney. They are why I went to jail.

That person was,
 I figured, one of the possible reasons I was kept away so long, and why they wanted me to see you together in court. It is probably why people kept acting like I was horrible for caring about you. Judge N. acted like I was some kind of perv and the anonymous email
I got that said "leave
the nice doctor alone."
 I
guess it also has to do with the "obsessed" comment in the police report. Live how you want, but I think you have been a part of a larger plan against you from the start. Please be very careful. I will always help you if you need.
You are just as important to me as family.
You know that I am on your side. Just tell me the truth and I will behave graciously. I only want what you want. You are all that matters to me. That is love.

I will always be available to you, no matter what.

I am not obsessed with you, I am in love with you and love you unconditionally.

There is a big difference between them.

Be happy.

You were there for me, I will be the same for you.
I have been sad for too long. I hate this life.