AHWBN 2

 I ended up getting my shot (booster). My renter drove over earlier and was going to come back and get me, but he said they told him they did not have any Pfizer left, but when I walked over and got through the line and got up there, they found a few more. Anyway, I was worried about getting there before they closed, so I took off and walked there (to the fire station) and got a shot! So, I got a ride from my renter back home. Yay!

My house is a disgusting mess, so it has motivated me to try harder to work on it. Seeing something from an outside observer's perspective is an "eye opener!" I could never have anyone see it, unless they were prepared, or who was kind enough to be understanding. I have gone through a succession of difficult times over the last few years, so my home has taken the brunt of it. I tried to get a housekeeping service to come, but they said they were not taking on more clients.   I swear, this area has been a trial. I cannot get junk haulers to come out here, so as I mentioned before; I need to rent, or buy a truck to get it done, but of course, it will take a lot of work and energy to do it. It is a job to weed out all the things that do not fit in here from a bigger home to one much smaller. I really need help, but my "renter" is not living up to his job description. It makes me angry, but now he is a friend, so I cannot kick him out; besides one can feel awfully lonely/vulnerable out here in the "Boonies!" 

I am sorry if I was out of sorts earlier, but things are piling up in my head as well as in my environment. I am not really a slob, but you would not know it from my living quarters!

I know it is unfair for you to have my mood for the day hang on your shoulders, but it does; sorry. I worry if you have been harmed, or think I am a jerk for something I have said, or not done. I worry so much about you. I have no power over my loving you; it just is, but I will not ever be weird about it; you have had that mental illness in her to deal with for a life-time and more! Just know my love will never disappear; you just don't need to worry about me being an oddball; just a loyal friend and dedicated support. I will keep saying "I love you" in writing, or whatever/whenever appropriate. I truly am a reasonable person and I am in touch w/reality.

I know what love is and for me it is you, but in person it must be mutual, or friend and cordial, but a hug would sure be sweet after all of this tsuris.

Yes, I love you.

i