Time for hot cereal (with raisins) and a drop of milk since that all that is left at the moment. Then I will go back to sleep. My eyes are so tired. Nothing to look at here, or look forward to. Is that your life too? Aren't you tired of it and sick of your bad treatment? You cannot stay that way. We both need to work on things, please. You must be tired of being her dancing bear from the circus. She belittles you, correct? I suppose she keeps you down out of jealousy; since everything about you is better than her murderous ass! Did you stop complimenting her? Now, are you intimidated by her? Does she threaten you with a scalpel each night? Have some self-respect and leave; she knows she will go to prison if you talk, so when things get quiet, she will kill you. She will just be glad she doesn't have to control you any longer and just concentrate on making your kids her puppets and make them miserable. I am making this up, but I am probably not far from the truth. She will never change. so if that is what you think; wake up! She is cold blooded. Leave asap. You need a life and self-esteem. You were top dog; now what? You still are, but hide it. You do not belong around that thing. Even I have allowed myself to be reduced to a number; and begging for more, as a result of her terrible treatment of you. I am in love with a prisoner. Little by little you will be reduced more and more like me..... I feel like a nobody and worse; like when I wanted to die after being supremely run down to a small speck of insignificant dust. Don't become like her; it is not a good trait. You are beautiful, she is not.
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