It is just that I have no idea what is going on and I have been so patient and was punched right in the gut with betrayal, but just kept up with the adoration. I could not have much self-respect to do that. But that didn't seem too important; I just wondered why and hurt like Hell. I have absolutely no respect for the instigators and wonder what they get out of hurting me, or did he get a break after harming me? He could not have thought I would take it well. I was so close to harming myself. I had such faith in him. I never had a clue things would work out as they did. I still love him, but he went down in my estimation of him, but until I understand things; that isn't the full picture. I am tired of being the scapegoat and having people act like I am scum; when it is the accusers who are rock bottom pieces of shit.
He is not!
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