I discovered a program called "Work in progress." The first one is free, like some kind of illicit drug.
Now what?
I like it.
Kind of dark, but I like the intelligence.
The pain is strong, though.
Tuesday, August 31, 2021
BR
After only 5 months, my vacuum stopped working. I really need it. I hate to think of getting another one, because I have to figure out what to do with the old one. I remember when I lived in Sunnyvale, there was a vacuum cleaner shop where they fixed vacuums. Instead of getting it fixed, I would just take it there and leave it there for him to fix and sell. Nothing like that here. I did leave some bicycles across the street and they were just picked up and taken away. I hate throwing stuff away. I feel so much better when they can be recycled.
Monday, August 30, 2021
Sunday, August 29, 2021
HFD
I would love to know if he is okay and that he has good feelings toward me. That is my heartfelt desire.
IK
I was going to let my dog out and while I was unlocking the door, she squatted on the little rug by the stairs. She still wanted to go out, but I think it was a ploy to make me think I hadn't just seen what I did. I took the rug out and squirted it off; she's so funny!
I didn't let on that I knew.....
IP
I spend more time thinking of things to write here than anything else. sometimes though, my brain does not come through for me and I am stumped with not much strolling through my mind.
I keep thinking about 1/2 Moon Bay and how much I would love to go there with you. I have the best time walking on Main st. and going to the fish seller's on the corner. It would be nice to get oysters for a picnic. I would also like to go to the cemetery we both spoke about. I also love to sit on the patio of the Ritz by a fire ring and listen to the piper play Amazing Grace as the sun sets. It is also fun to watch the lamplighter light those fascinating swirling fire lamps. I just wanted to soak in my time there, so I was awake from the lighting to extinguishing. I sat on the deck reading JK in the rain while holding an umbrella I found in the closet while I sat by a fire ring there on the deck. I also sat quite awhile in the massive bathtub and soaked with some of the goodies they had left for me in a lovely basket. I had never spent so much on a room and I wanted to get every bit of joy out of it.
It was the next hotel I went to in 1/2 Moon Bay where you saved me. You saved me and made me love you even more (if possible).
TA
I love you so very much, but don't let that ever scare you off. I CAN be a friend. I want to be more, but of course I only want what you want. I just love saying my feelings. It is a wonderful outlet. You are just so lovely, amazing and my heart's delight. That's all. :-)
NA
You know, I read that lipedema has a connection with hormone (particularly women) and that perhaps the achiness in my breast, which I believe is lipedema, rather than cancer. There seems to be no change in size, nor any other symptoms that would support cancer. Something I found interesting was when I had the breast achiness, I thought about the hormone issue and decided to take an Arimidex and I was pleasantly surprised that it worked!! The achiness left! I don't know how Arimidex is viewed, but I was wondering if it could be helpful in regard to lessening the severity of the disease. It might be something to consider, unless the bad outweighs the good. I only took one 1 mg tablet. It would be interesting to see if it did anything to help make the lumps get smaller, and less painful. Have there been studies on that? I mean, it does basically cause menopause symptoms, because it blocks hormones, but if it could be used in a certain pattern, or way, maybe on again, off and theon, perhaps it would help someone who is in really bad shape. I am thinking I will pop one each time I feel the achiness. I am still taking LDN and ALA, so.....?
As I have said, though, I want to get some sort of fat removal, I hate my lipedema legs, etc. It would be so nice to look normal again.
https://www.lymphedema-guidebook.com/?assoc=Bing&keyword=lymphedema&msclkid=18923507130616b6b3d8542c24'
Saturday, August 28, 2021
Vit. D
Dr. Holick
I am listening to a fascinating lecture about vit. D. I will never remember it all, but remember to take 6,000 IU up to 10,000 a day (depends on weight) cognitive dysfunction can have to do with vit D Deficiency. App. D minder info. No downside to increasing vit D. I have come to my last cap. I would like to see my blood levels. Putting mushrooms in the sun is a way to get vit D
It is amazing how many mothers and babies are vit. D deficient! The mothers should take 2,000 IU vit D on top of what they were already taking. Up to 4,000, cannot get it from dietary sources 6 glasses of milk a day. Sun exposure holds the vit D. Longer. Tanning bed.
Ricketts is still a problem
Vit d receptor problems genetic issue.
Another vit D lecture came rolling around right after. Vit D Association Experts forum
CGY
When you get tired of their garbage, call me/let me know and I will come get you. You cannot get in trouble; it's in your name, so I won't either.
EX
Lovely program about Prince Charles' Highgrove House and it's organic gardening properties and selfsufficent systems, even sewage. That is what I miss here, no area to enjoy the Earth's benefits. It is crippling. I do what I can with pots, etc, but I have also been thrust into a life of sadness and I have yet to shake its devastating effects. It tears away at the very fabric of my soul. Life is fleeting, but the very place that is supposed to be preserving life and its quality, does not.
There is a meanness that has taken over; it is a cancer that must be excised.
LIPE FB page (Hard to copy and paste, it comes out wonky)
Facebook group. It is amazing how much fat shaming still goes on, even/especially in medical settings. It would be nice to do something less invasive/dangerous than liposuction, like laser.
Public group
IHS
You have shown me such love and concern for a long time. It has been tumultuous and terrible, but it is a history I love, because it was you. I want to hold your hand again. It was beautiful. I hope it is soon.
In the Garden
I wish we were going on a nice drive along the coast this weekend. Half Moon Bay is so nice I love it. My grandmother (as you know) lived there and I loved going there to see her. I would love to go and see the church window again that my grandmother donated and dedicated to her father.
I would like to see it with someone I love. I could introduce you to Dr. Stanislaus von Martinitz. (His window)
Trying to feel better
I just turned on "Notting hill" again, because it is familiar, romantic and I love the romance and I like romance, so I can pretend it is you. Don't think I am weird, but never underestimate your wonderfullness.
There he had the perfect opportunity to have his love, but stupidly turned it down. It was gut wrenching.....every time.
His friends brought him back to Earth. I want to cry each time.
"Just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her..."
Romantic movie at its finest. :-)💋
ATS
May I have a hug? I need it desperately. I never got one.
I would have a very hard time stopping.
If I didn't have a lovely pic I found online that I framed, and kept me company and made me happy, I would not have felt as good as I did, but it also made me wish for the real deal. I got to pretend those eyes were mine to stare into for real, but they were not. I would love it though.
I ache. To see you, that is.
WE
A new limited program called Mare of EastTown is with Kate Winslet and it is very good. I watched it all in two days (maybe a bit more) It was gritty but very well done. I am not sure it would be your cup of tea, and it did get me a bit depressed, so only watch with a strong feeling of joy inside. It decked me one day, but I was so intrigued, I came back, plus the acting was amazing. Kate Winslet never seems to turn in a bad performance.
I think it may have had something to do with my questioning life the other day, but I am a bit better, when not freaked about B.C. Those people tarnished my experience with my little clinic here, so I don't feel as confident as I did, but upping my LDN to the prescribed amount. I wish I had some comfort.
Sending love. I hope you are well.
Friday, August 27, 2021
AT
I only want to do whatever you need me to do for you. Please get away when you can, or call me.
I want you safe and living however you want that makes you happy.
I will be there at any time for you.
Thursday, August 26, 2021
UAC
If I die trying to free him, then that is what I will do; I will not give up under any circumstances!
Tuesday, August 24, 2021
Dark Angel of Light
Ever wonder if those little feelings or hunches may be the whisper of an angel? Have you found a feather or penny in your path and wondered to yourself if it might be the sign of an angel?
Angels are divine beings of love and light, sent here to protect, heal and guide us on our journey through life.
"Dark Angel of Light"~
My angel in the darkness, you listen to my cries.
Your tender heart it breaks for me; you always empathize
I reach for you in tragic times of most intense despair
You never turn away from me, or say that you don't care
I know your life of sacrifice, and making people well
Your help to me it had to cease, or evil ones would tell
Yet I feel so extremely blessed not hopelessly bereft
You sent another angel not long from this place left
She had a strong compassion and loved to tend to others
It's just the way we all would want to think of as our mothers
But something in her saw my need to keep her focused here
She knew that you were in my heart, and for your life I feared
I want to always be near to you to keep you safe and well
There's nothing I won't do for you; I'd walk the paths of Hell
She helps to stop me sinking in an ocean of depression
and tells me that in this short life each tragedy's a lesson.
~Haviva
(c) HVM 2018
HD
Have a lovely day! I look forward to each day being better than the one before. I keep up spirits and hope. That is the only way to survive.
Monday, August 23, 2021
Jello
Hi, how is it going? What did you have for dinner? Do you only eat healthy things? I saw a container of Bean and beef burritos in the freezer, so I put tomato sauce on it and then some picante sauce on it as it was cooking so it would keep the burrito from drying out and it would be more like a restaurant item. Put a dab of sour cream on it and it was decent.
I guess I will make some sugar free jello for dessert (many hours from now) unless I can put it in the freezer.
I am watching the "Antiques Roadshow" as usual while eating and will give my leftovers to the birds. Time for doggie dinner too.
I know what I write is not exciting, but it is just ordinary conversation.
What do you do in the evenings, must be better then what I do. I have a lot to do, but not what I wish I could do.
The RS had a bracelet that some woman found that was a gift that Queen Victoria had given to a maid. They figured out who it had been given to since it was her usual gift to her maids. It was very heavy gold, so obviously she was generous. She was also a romantic and had a very good sense of humor. That is nice to know. She seemed like a very nice person. I hope I am related to her and there is almost no doubt that I am. It is fun. I am obviously in awe of that. Sorry if I am obnoxious about it, but I find it exciting.
I will be back in a bit; time to make Jello.
MJ
You have been a delight and a source of great happiness.
You exude kindness, care and concern
What a marvelous joy!
Sunday, August 22, 2021
WF
The wonky footed sea gull was banging on my window "gently" suggesting I put some food out there for him. The vulture is more polite, but often arrives after the food is gone. I guess he must go look for fresh road kill.
I need to clean out the fridge and may find more outdated stuff to give them. I know, I started down a bad road, but sometimes they seem so very hungry. I hate anything to be hungry.
FT
I was able to communicate with a friend who was frantic to hear from me. It may have been because I did not send money this month, because I had to pay off the local clinic for my leg infection and could not stretch it far enough this time. I feel terrible. I don't like to let people down.
WC
I just wonder if anything will change.....
Don't get used to bad treatment.
You need better, or you will die inside.
and then they may kill you anyway.
SDJ
I have been thanking people on Twitter for voting NO on the recall! I will make sure my ballot goes directly to the ballot box! Screw de Joy's P.O.!
BT
I feel so bad! A friend was trying to reach me! I did not see the message! She said she was so upset! I missed helping her! Crap! She said she was better now, but I should have been there for her!
Saturday, August 21, 2021
Wow
/ Source: Associated Press
SAN FRANCISCO — Investigators are considering whether toxic algae blooms or other hazards may have contributed to the deaths of a Northern California couple, their baby and the family dog on a remote hiking trail, authorities said.
The area in the Sierra National Forest where the bodies were found on Tuesday had been treated as a hazmat site after concerns were raised about the deaths being linked to potentially toxic gases from old mines nearby.
But the hazmat declaration was lifted Wednesday, and Mariposa County Sheriff Jeremy Briese said he didn’t believe the mines were a factor, the Fresno Bee reported Thursday.
“This is a very unusual, unique situation,” said Kristie Mitchell, a spokesperson for the sheriff’s office. “There were no signs of trauma, no obvious cause of death. There was no suicide note.”
John Gerrish, his wife, Ellen Chung, their 1-year-old daughter, Miju, and their dog were all found dead on a hiking trail near Hite’s Cove in the Sierra National Forest. A family friend had reported them missing Monday evening.
The area around Hite’s Cove was the site of a hard rock gold mining operation in the mid-19th century.
The bodies were transported to the coroner’s office in Mariposa for autopsies and toxicology exams, Mitchell said.
The State Water Resources Control Board said Thursday it was testing waterways in the area for any toxic algae blooms.
Thursday, August 19, 2021
TA
I have been beaten up beyond belief for well over 6 years to become a friend of someone I love more than anyone I could ever love again and it seems to crash and burn without a proper discussion or fair look. Nothing about this has been normal, or ethical, or correct. I haven't had the chance to speak with anyone. All I have done is wait and fight for his survival. I have not lived like a normal person for over 6 years, but I must say, he made parts it glorious.
He still does, but also it hurts so much too.
What group does this to people? It is extraordinarily cruel. Who doesn't sit and talk honestly and openly about things of such importance? I guess some people feel others are too beneath them to talk to them.
That is way too arrogant for reality.
Wednesday, August 18, 2021
Tuesday, August 17, 2021
D&D
I never said I had all the answers, but six years of doing nothing hasn't done anything either, except make people 6 years older, poorer, tired, disillusioned and disgusted!
Time to go guerrilla!
Or sit and wait to die.
I stayed focused on you and always loved you.
MAG
I just have a hard time being away from him,
c
and caring about how he is doing
I get so angry that he is treated so badly
He is sensitive and kind and the most magical
person I have ever known
All I want is for him to be happy.
That's all.
Monday, August 16, 2021
Moon
Look at the moon! It is so bright and lovely! It looks golden and so romantic!
Sigh!
Right now it is high above the ocean; I will bet it will be quite spectacular when it is lower over over the ocean!
It is not full yet, at 65% now.
HT
I want to put the wood petrifier on the up and down decks. I want to keep them in good shape, so I don't need to replace them. I would love to put a small hot tub on the bottom deck.
HS
You look like someone who belongs to a royal family, not me; of course, my great grand-father, the surgeon, was very tall and so was my mother's father, but he wasn't related to the royals, but handsome.
Like......
FM
Do you think that a-hole ever tells the truth? Of course NOT! His head would explode! Get away, free me and I free you. Simple as that.
VOTE NO ON RECALL!
“Every candidate running against Newsom is an extremist in terms of the environment and economic justice."
usatoday.com/story/news/202 via
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