I don't understand. I am sad from so many directions. I am in physical and mental pain. When will it end? Do what makes you happy. I am a supernumerary.  I have been so alone and so tormented, I have not died; that makes them unhappy. But, maybe my health will do it for them. I love you, but I am not attractive, I don't expect you to feel love back. Just please help me and I will be gone.