I am a bit teary today. I am worried about the breast pain, my mother being alone for Thanksgiving and my life in general. I am a mess. My home is a wreak and I don't know how to get control of everything. Sometimes I just want to run and keep running. My heart is so devoted to you and it is all I want to think about, but I still need to deal with the real world too. I feel scared, humiliated, hated and reviled. I spend too much time defending myself and beaten down. I just want to snuggle up with a dream of you and wake up when all the bad is over....if it ever is.