Monday, May 31, 2021

Miss

 What did you do today? Did you work?

I want to come get you one day and make certain you are okay

I miss you terribly.


Not do it

 I hope you are having a pleasant day!

It is very quiet and very sunny here.

I remember when people used to say, "let's go for a drive!" Well, this is the place for it, if there ever was one!

Just up the road about 14 miles is the lighthouse where I stayed and nearly burned down. It was so strange, because my never before worn clothes had something spilled on them in the suitcase, so I washed them in the tub and hung them by the woodstove fireplace after they dripped off somewhat.  Somehow, I managed to get them too close to the fire and they went up in a smokey blaze and managed to catch the shag carpet on fire too! It terrified me!

I looked around the room and saw a smoke alarm, but even with all the smoke, it never went off. I pulled it open and all the wires just hung down! I left a note for them telling about the alarm, but not the fire, since there was no sign of it. I cut off any bits of shag carpet that were singed and it was normal looking again. I aired the place out night and day, so it seemed to smell okay. 

I did read online that the old lighthouse keepers place had burned to the ground........the place really did seem haunted and very noisy at night. It sounded like a lot of people speaking all at once, but it the wave activity was responsible for that; it was all around me, since it is a peninsula.

It's only 14 miles from here. I will see if they have a future events there.

I wish you could leave your prison for a visit. I don't know if you are just obedient, or handcuffed. It must feel weird not to be trusted, or have freedom. I could not do it. 

ted

 People can be so tedious.

Too grand

 It would be lovely to have a nice bit of normal life for awhile.

I think some people get a little too grand in their own minds and think it is their right to run the lives of others.

I'll bet there is a lot lacking in their own lives, much less thinking they can be in charge of more too!

So Sweet!

 I hope you don't mind my intrusion, but I saw a picture of both your parents and they looked so nice! (Really sweet actually.)

Memorial Day reflections

 

F

Understand

 You know, if you don't want my help you are welcome to not take me up on it.

I don't know why you asked me to be your friend. I felt like you needed my support.

I wanted to do that. No one else have I ever wanted to do everything for, or be everything for. You were so kind to me before, but you set me up to be looked at with future suspicion. You took away any help I could have been, but rest assured that if you sought out my help, nothing, not even law, would stop me from rescuing you.

You set me up as some stalker for the rest of my life. I need to know the threat that you were under that could make you hurt an innocent person so badly.

I sincerely hope you will feel remorse and want to do the right thing.

Of course, I want you to be safe, but I would love to know that you felt bad about doing it. I still get a sinking feeling at certain point of the day when I get a stab in the gut with sadness from that entire thing. I just feel like collapsing and sobbing out of control. Please, do what you need to do to stay safe, but keep your integrity. Don't let anyone steal it from you.

Nothing will ever make me dislike you.

Don't forget, you are not them. You are so much more compassionate and beautiful. They don't understand compassion, or love. You do.

Help you

 You really make a person work hard when they love you. I hardly sleep, and am always writing to help you.

want

 I know you, I love you and I want to take care of you. 

than you

 There is no human being, that I didn't birth, or who didn't give birth to me, that I could love more than you.

Excuse me

 "Pride goeth before a fall".

I bust my ass trying to help and not even a 4?

Fuck! 

Pardon my Irish!

Sunday, May 30, 2021

sake

 I am the good person trying to help! For God's sake reach me!

know

 I need to know if you are here.

Not

 Do you think I am enjoying this? I am doing this because I am afraid for your life and because I love you. Smirk if you want, but this is no picnic for me. I am NOT going to let you die!

I am dedicated!

Mentor

 I say things truthful in law, or things will not come out right. It is like a cake recipe; you mess up ingredients and all you have is a weird pancake.  Also, something you say that is not true, can get  you tossed in jail, or worse. You've had a very bad mentor.

See here

 I have something you will want to see.  Watch this space as they say.....

I put it above here. You have seen it now.

why

 Why are you in a bad mood when I am waiting to love you and take care of you and give you reason to smile?

I would always admire you and tell you why you are wonderful. They run you down and make you grouchy, is what I think.

Don't

 You seem to like cruel people. Sorry, I can"t help you with that. I don't.

So

 I love you, so hate me. Makes sense.

To no one.

Devoted

 You do know I love you and am devoted to you, right?

Just making sure you know. Terrific reason to despise me and stay with murderers. Wise choice.....you chose me in the first place. I wanted to ease your pain, then I fell in love with you.

Sad

 But it doesn't make me hate you. It makes me sad.

HM

 I don't want to lose you more than I can express, but 

I am at a loss.

It is not in my hands.....otherwise, you'd be here.

Help me.

Love.


GB

 Are you happy with your situation? If so, 

I wish you very well and good-bye.

pls

 I will do anything.Tell me. Please.

do

 Can you go places alone?

soon

Walk away. 

Stay

Can you leave home on your own?


Saturday, May 29, 2021

Nice!

 Just sitting down to my spaghetti. pretty good. getting full fast. Cooking took away my appetite.

Listened to Roch 2, I think Gershwin borrowed from him..... of course, I always think of "The 7 year Itch" where Tom Ewell makes a swift pass at MM in about as elegant a manner as Donald Trump would "move on her like a bitch" about as classy as flushing a massive BM down the toilet!

If it weren't such a misogynistic move, it would have been cute, but it had to be taken in the spirit of the times, I guess.

Don't fault me, but in my online perusing, I saw your HS pic. What a cutie! Harrison Ford had nothing on you! Bet you were prom king, but self-deprecatory! Very nice!



vicious

 I have a very nice attorney now. The last one was an abusive asshole. I think he slept through the entire trial. He was obviously in collusion with the Big Briber. They are all dirty, but why? They are clearly splitting up the K money. What a massive pile of crap. I'll bet "he" takes a portion of each bribe he gives. I know they do that with contractors and workers. Once, a teary worker at my house came up to me and said that hadn't been paid at all! I just thought crap! The contractor told me basically to mind my own business. Yikes! So, in the end, they just cleaned out my bank account. It sucked. I had only enough to get a moving company and that was it. I came here and the garage was a Jenga game. It was diabolical.

I know MP came here and directed the movers and also broke a few things and turned the HOA against me. Those people are more than vicious, the are deadly.

It is why I worry for you.

Today

 Are you okay today? I sure hope so. 

I would do anything to make it so. I really would.

Tonic

 If Prince Harry is depressed yet still gets up and out of his PJ's, for speaking engagements; his depression is a very different flavor than mine. Sometimes I am merely a lump with barely a difference from one hour to the next. 

Maybe being paid big bucks to have people show you devotion and eager for your words, is a "bit" of an antidepressant itself, whereas being called a "stalker" in a disgusted manner tends to have far less tonic effects. I don't know, maybe a tad?

I do both

 

“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” —George Orwell

Pains

 Guess I will make some spaghetti. 

Nothing else thrills my soul.

In fact, nothing in the food kingdom really does.

I get the freakiest pains.

It must all be kidney related. 

I just don't understand it.

One day it is kind of around the belly button, or down on the right in front. Just everywhere pain pops up for a few moments and goes away.

Then I take the Amazon rain forest herbal stuff and I forget about it until the next time. 

I will never forget your kindness staying up for me when I was sick. That was above and beyond. It touched me deeply. 

Lethargy

 I have not been doing much work for awhile now. 

I have a kitchen that needs a bulldozer.

The sink is still in a very silly, jaunty, unuseable position.

I kinda don't give a crap.

But I need to get it fixed so I can get a loan, so it is a two edged sword.

It will happen. I have just been rather lethargic. 

They know

 

Birds can recognize people's faces and know their voices

Date:
June 22, 2012
Source:
University of Lincoln
Summary:
New research suggests that some birds may know who their human friends are, as they are able to recognize people’s faces and differentiate between human voices.


I know my seagull friends do.

Too soon

Today is a day that would make a sailor very happy

and me hoping not to fall in!

I am not comfortable with being off balance.....

except in humor.


I hope you are able to think about your loved ones who have passed today. 

Taken much too soon.

I would like to visit B's resting place. I want to give her a rose for being there for me.

Hopefully that isn't too intrusive.

If

                                                


If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll  find an excuse.” —Jim Rohn | PassItOn.com


Sometimes images just won't cooperate.

        
100 Famous Quotes About Life That Will Inspire You



Invented

 I am pretty gut level certain that the Irish invented the word fuck, so since I am 14% Irish, I will use it 14% of the day and call it when it gets dark, unless it is a 24 hr. thing; then maybe it will go into over- time....maybe a sliding scale. Why quibble?


Feel

 I am happy to feel so natural around you, or about you. I never knew that feeling before. It is lovely.

To

 I look forward to the day when I can just shut up and listen.

To you.

Tries

 If anyone tries to speak for me, tell them to fuck off. 

Evens

 I cannot define feelings. I accept them.  They come and go, but there is an underlying solid base of them that gives one a warm feeling of security. 

Sometimes things go awry. It is like nature looking lovely, but there is always a chance of earthquake, or sudden storm. But, you don't hate nature because it was having a bad day. You accept it and understand how to deal with it, when it happens again.

You are ready. 

You don't mind, because the wonderful was better than the bad. 

After awhile, you learn to find beauty in the rough times too and it all evens out. 

Love.

Subtle

 If people can't trust each other, what is it worth knowing each other?

I know you can trust me,

can I trust you? 

I know I could, without other people putting in their own will.

It is obvious, like the smell of rotting road kill.

I always knew when someone else was behind what was said, or written attributed to you. My instinct automatically tossed it out.

People are such fools when they think they can make someone else think they are dealing with the one they know. It is like a horn going off.

Bad people are usually pretty stupid when it comes to subtlety or forgery of the human spirit. They cannot erase their own stench from it.

More than

 Time is the destroyer of so much. 

It slips by and I realise how I have squandered it. 

People are so hung up on money, but it is time I treasure.

Fur

 You KNOW I will do ANYTHING for you, but my psychic powers have not fully kicked in yet! TELL ME!

Get safe, then, figure things out!

Don't listen to what those assholes say, about anything!

To them, you are a steak on a BBQ.

You helped them paint a picture of me as a predator!

Is that how you think of me?

When did I ever do anything out of order?

I was never there when I wasn't supposed to be. 

I didn't call just to schmooze.

I wrote emails, because you specifically said I could.

I enjoyed it immensely, but fuck, don't make up other shit about me!

I went from having no record, to a bursting folder!

Not the kind of thing I want lurking in my life's history, when a visit to St. Peter could be in my near future! Crap!

I DO expect that to be rectified.

A good person has been sullied, because she gave a few gifts to say, "thank you!"

Santa is quaking in his fur lined boots!

Shark Tank

 Do something to save yourself, or deserve what you get.

I am not more intelligent than you, but I see it.

You are languishing in the shark tank with a bleeding cut.

How long could that possibly last?

Duh!

Wakey, wakey!

What

 I am not angry, but you really should be ashamed of what you did to me.

Bane

 When you think of it, what did I ever do wrong? 

Nothing.

People with suspicious, deranged minds made it all up. That is why a big, fabricated story had to be made up.

It was shameful. They had agendas and needed a scapegoat. People with minds like that cannot be trusted.

Don't. They will always use you.

Just like they are doing now.

Users are the bane of existence.

A lot

 I never said what you had to be to me. Other people did that.

All I knew was that I wanted to be near you and take care of you. 

All these weird people made judgments, screamed at me. What had I done, but thank you and laugh with you and felt close to you? Why was I jumped on and treated so badly? 

It reminded me of when I worked at a dress shop and the old man who was the owner made us follow people of color around the place as if they were automatically assumed to be shoplifters. It made me sick. I quit, but still got unemployment, because of that man's attitude.

He also raided our bag lunches. 

Bastard.

I can love you to myself. I just enjoyed being around you. It felt so great. I didn't like it when I wasn't.

I never put a value on it. I just enjoyed it as it happened. 

Love can just be love. It is personal. 

But it makes me dedicated.

People don't understand. They take beauty and beat it to a pulp until it is dead. It makes them feel in control.

People are jerks for the most part.

Controlling people are a pain. I just want to enjoy life, not make it fit into a box.

I just know you were lovely and made life a joy. I don't need to define it beyond that. Nothing can live up to expectations.

Don't have any. It is nice that way. 

Anyway. Do what makes you happy. That is what makes me happy, but I would sure love to be around you again. 

Take care. Don't let them hurt you. That would hurt me a lot.

Better

 I don't want to lose you before I have the chance to know you better. I already know I love you, so that is a great start......

It isn't a death sentence, for God's sake! You have not been used to love. 

You have been used to possession.

Try love. 

Much better.

My Life is a dream

 

“The air was soft, the stars so fine, the promise of every cobbled alley so great, that I thought I was in a dream.” —Jack Kerouac

Bully

 I refuse to allow anyone to bully me about who I love.

Refuse

 

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." —​Maya Angelou

Rise

 

"We rise by lifting others." —​Robert Ingersoll

A little glue.....

 

"We are all broken, that's how the light gets in." —Ernest Hemingway

Chance

 I would love to go on a hike with you today! I want to get back into doing fun things like that. It looks like it might be nice today. 

Give me a chance, please? No? Gee, okay.

Always

 You are loved, always!

Cutie

 My little doggie is sleeping on the couch on her side and her round tummy is sticking out. She makes me smile. She is adorable. 

Anything for you

 Don't ever think I don't love you, or would not die for you, or give you what I have to help you.

It is to be understood as a given.

PC

 If people don't want to be found out for their disgusting actions; they should not do them.

Also, People are not property. She needs to realize that........

they need to be loved and cherished

I will keep going after her and that other one, until they end up in jail.

She only wants you because of money and because someone else loves you for yourself.

I remember you saying that she doesn't pay attention to you and they don't listen to you. Suddenly her spies say someone laughs and enjoys talking to you and all Hell breaks loose and it's a pissing contest. That is not love. 

She has no pride at all. She just wants to own.

Miss

 I am so hungry for even a tiny flicker of life from you. 

That is how much I miss you.

FT

 Do what keeps you safe from monsters. Please. It is all I care about.

Fuck them.


I love you. 

Friday, May 28, 2021

Stand

 I have been so sad for so many years. I can barely stand it.

hurt

 I don't like the sadness. I don't know how to handle the emotions any longer. I only know honest caring and then anger comes up because I hurt. 

CB

 I wish you very well. I just wish you hadn't destroyed me. I did nothing to you; it was the crazy bitch who did that.

Just release me from this nightmare and say good-bye.

I love you.

Mean a-holes

 I have to assume that much of the time I don't understand things, because they can often seem kind of cruel. But there are many mean a-holes out there too.

All I care about is how much I love the one I love.  It is all that is important to me.

Thursday, May 27, 2021

Setting 😎

 Going through a town called Little River. Really scenic. Lots of cozy hotels and B&B's and lovely ocean views. Sun is setting.

Moods

 I hope you will give me a chance after all this time. I am rather worried that I have blabbed my way out of your concern. I have a  lot going for me, but the attacks made my life refocus on dull subjects. That isn't me. I have a lot of interests and I am very interested in what you know and enjoy. I remember how much we had in common only after speaking a few times. I remember floating on air. 

I felt so happy and like life had finally made sense and beauty.  I know it is why my moods changed according to what I would hear from you. You always came first with me; and do still. Don't let my anger with them and my frustration of the situation cause an annoyance. Thank you. With love.


LDN

I am now going to be taking this on a regular basis. It seems to be beneficial for nearly every ailment. I hope you will consider it. It is considered longevity medication. No one will ever be able to threaten you as far as health is concerned, if they do. I hope it may help the kidney issue I have now (thanks to the attack on me) as well as many other, even minor possibilities. This is a preventative as well as a curative.

I want you to always be well.

  • AgelessRx

LDN and the Immune System

In this article, we will explore:

  1. What Met-enkephalin is and how it impacts the immune system

  2. How LDN increases Met-enkephalin levels and why it is important

  3. Positive effects of increased Met-enkephalin levels

  4. Chronic Inflammation is a sign of weakened immune system

  5. How LDN reduces inflammation


What is Met-enkephalin?

When we experience pain, our body releases chemicals to lower the pain. These same chemicals are also released when we do something pleasant, like exercise or listen to music. These chemicals are called opioids. Met-enkephalins are one of these opioids and are found mainly in the adrenal gland and throughout the Central Nervous System. Met-enkephalins bind to opiate receptors that release controlled levels of pain, as well as regulate memory and emotional conditions, food and liquid consumption, and the immune system. (1)


Like most biological processes, however, Met-enkephalin levels naturally decrease with age and stress. Autoimmune disorders, such as multiple sclerosis, can also cause Met-enkephalin levels to decrease at a faster rate.


How can we increase Met-enkephalin levels and reduce future stress? Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN) may be the answer.


Evidence LDN Increases Met-enkephalin Levels

Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28766982/

LDN is a widely used off-label therapeutic prescribed for a variety of immune-related disorders. In part, LDN works to intermittently block opioid receptors, resulting in increased endorphin release, modulation of the immune system, and reducing inflammation. (2)


A two-part study in 2017 concluded that “serum Met-enkephalin levels were lower in humans with multiple sclerosis relative to non-multiple sclerosis patients, and low-dose naltrexone restored their levels… Thus, Met-enkephalin may be a reasonable candidate biomarker for multiple sclerosis, and may signal new pathways for treatment of autoimmune disorders.”


Met-enkephalin Shows Positive Effect on Immune Cells

Numerous studies have indicated that Met-enkephalin displays the capacity to stimulate an immune response, having a positive effect on different types of immune cells. For example, a 2014 study describes that Met-enkephalin was shown to enhance the number of T Cells (cells that play a critical part in immunity to foreign substances), which in turn improves host resistance to tumor growth or viral infections. (3)


Another study of 50 cancer patients, who were given Met-enkephalin boosters, concluded that Met-Enkephalin “could work as a strong immune booster with great potential in restoring damaged human immune system and we could consider MENK as a drug to treat cancer patients, whose immune systems are damaged by chemotherapy or radiotherapy. Furthermore we could consider MENK as a chemotherapy additive, which would sustain immune system of cancer patients during the process of chemotherapy to get maximized efficacy with minimized side effect.”


See the below illustration to visualize LDN’s effect on Met-enkephalin levels—which, in turn, can help strengthen the immune system and reduce other health risks:


For a full list of Met-enkephalin’s impact on the immune system, we invite you to reference an excerpt from the above-referenced 2014 study:

Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25553430/

LDN Reduces Pro-inflammatory Cytokines As you get older, your immune system weakens and chronic inflammation sets in. It has been shown that LDN reduces inflammation by reducing multiple pro-inflammatory cytokines.


In an 8-week single-blinded pilot study using 4.5 mg of LDN each night, serum levels of numerous proinflammatory cytokines including interleukin (IL)-1, IL-2, IL-12, IL-18, interferon gamma (IFN-γ), granulocyte-macrophage colony-stimulating factor (GM-CSF), and TNF-α were significantly reduced. By reducing inflammation, LDN, in turn, helps your immune system stay strong.


LDN & Met-enkephalin for Immunity

The clinical evidence supporting LDN’s effectiveness for a variety of conditions, including autoimmune diseases, is continuing to grow. As we have discussed in this blog, evidence to support LDN raises Met-enkephalin levels and further modulates the immune system (as noted above) further solidifies LDN as a safe, non-toxic, and inexpensive drug help countless patients with autoimmune diseases.


During the COVID-19 pandemic, LDN positions itself well as an immune-enhancing treatment. By increasing Met-enkephalin levels, thereby increasing the number of T Cells, it may help our bodies better armour up to fight off infection.


To learn more about LDN, or request a prescription, click here.


---



Sources:

  1. https://www.anaspec.com/products/productcategory.asp?id=165

  2. Ludwig MD, Zagon IS, McLaughlin PJ. Featured Article: Serum [Met5]-enkephalin levels are reduced in multiple sclerosis and restored by low-dose naltrexone. Exp Biol Med (Maywood). 2017 Sep;242(15):1524-1533. doi: 10.1177/1535370217724791. Epub 2017 Aug 2. PMID: 28766982; PMCID: PMC5648293.

  3. Pomorska DK, Gach K, Janecka A. Immunomodulatory effects of endogenous and synthetic peptides activating opioid receptors. Mini Rev Med Chem. 2014;14(14):1148-55. doi: 10.2174/1389557515666150101095237. PMID: 25553430.

  4. Reduced Pro-Inflammatory Cytokines after Eight Weeks of Low-Dose Naltrexone for Fibromyalgia

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