Since I have no communication, I must confess that I have a great feeling of insecurity. It is a normal thing, I believe, since everything is only conjured up in my mind. It is difficult and after such a long time, it is actually inhumane too. I have tried to stay in line even though I have known all along it was false. I know the stress has been destructive. I have had to stifle anger and sadness. It hurts to the core.
All I have is my faith and devotion and love, to keep going. It takes a lot of strength in many forms. Some days, I break down in despair, but I manage to rally at some point.
I do not feel as if I am going to be kind to the miserable people who did this terrible event. Nothing has been kind, even for a moment, from them.
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