Repose~
I barely allow
myself
to think of
seeing you
again
I've been
yearning
for so long
I know my
heart
will burst
I reflect on you
your inherent
sweetness
I loved your
voice
becoming
so soft
so lyrical
when you
spoke
an ethereal
embrace
to me
As you said
good-bye
I was lying
in a
dark room
attempting to
vanquish
abhorrent
dizziness
vandalizing
my vulnerable
brain
I reached out
with
every fiber
of my
invisible senses
to hold you back
to keep you from
becoming the
terrifying emptiness
as dark
as the room
that enveloped
my
maddening
confusion
The die was cast
Before another
dismal day
could drift on
I would lose you
to
a sharp pain
a dull ache
a hatter's clock
and a heart
that
refuses
to let go
You were gone
A shadow of your
memory
circles like
an impromptu
puff of wind
chasing a fallen
leaf
in nature's silly
game
Exploring each
secret space
where desires
as dreams
reside in
silent
repose
It taunts me
A ghostly
melody
tuned as a
gentle echo
of you
lingering
in my ear
Intruding pulse
drowns
it out
Dense ocean
fog
streams
in
covering my
moist
eyes
Muffling
transient
sobs
emitted
when
memory
serves
them up
When will
you
return
to me?
~Haviva (Cheryl P.)
(c) HVM 2018
I suffer the loss of you each day, moment, by moment, deep agonizing sigh, by sigh. The confusion taunting my tormented mind, stays incredibly fresh and Hades hot. My demise feels closer by the moment and almost as welcome. I cannot go on, knowing you suffer so much; I need to live long enough to see you free and happy.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
Please make a silent promise that you will make my help your first priority.I think my cat lives are spent on you and rubbed in my face; I will not rest until life makes sense again and I am blessed with seeing your sweet, smiling face, that I love so much, again.
ReplyDeleteBless me with your happiness, please!
ReplyDeleteI feel as if you are fading away from me. Tell me if you do not want me to help you.That thought would scare me, because you will always be a threat to them, like a coiled snake waiting to strike at any time. Attempted murder has no statute of limitations; please keep escape always fresh in your mind.
ReplyDeletePlease give me an obvious sign that you are backing me and care at least a little for me. I go on day-by-day with so little support.I know I miss things too, but it is rough for me.
ReplyDeletePlease don't ever set me up for a fall again.All I care about is helping you
ReplyDeleteIf you really do not need help, tell me you actually prolonged your situation and made things difficult and gave me a police record. Most people would said f-it by now. I am unusual.
maybe i just seemed like someone easy to use for help, but i did and you kicked me in the face for it and I ended up with a police record and feeling suicidal. Why hurt me? I very well might be dead right now; why allow that, just to protect yourself? You could have screamed out in court, "THIS IS ALL A LIE! I AM IN DANGER! THE PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THIS ARE CRIMINALS KEEPING ME PRISONER! THE DEFENDANT DID NOTHING WRONG; SHE SHOULD BE FREE OF THIS AND SO SHOULD I! They would not have been able to to pretend you did not say it!
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE TOO SMART AND TOO CONNECTED TO HAVE THIS GO ON FOR SO LONG! THE FIRST RULE ABOUT BEING A CAPTIVE, IS NEVER LISTEN TO THEIR LIES! AND ESCAPE! DO NOT SETTLE IN TO THEIR TRAP! DO NOT ALLOW IT TO KEEP GOING! YOU WILL BE QUESTIONED ABOUT WHY SUCH A PHYSICALLY STRONG PERSON ALLOWED IT! YOU ARE TOO SMART TO HAVE IT GO ON THIS LONG! EVEN "HER" MOTHER SAID, "HE IS BIG AND STRONG, HOW COULD SHE DO ANYTHING TO HIM AGAINST HIS WILL?" I AM SURE SHE KNOWS SHE IS MENTALLY ILL, BUT WON"T ADMIT IT. SHE IS IN DENIAL. SHE THINKS I AM STALKING YOU! I HAVE NEVER STALKED YOU, OR ANYONE, EVER! A MOTHER OF A MURDEROUS WOMAN CALLS ME A STALKER! THAT IS RICH! THE FATHER JUST KEPT COOKING, HE KNOWS THE TRUTH! I WILL GO TO SMALL CLAIMS COURT WITH YOU, SO YOU MAY EXPLAIN AND BE SET FREE, IF YOU REALLY WANT. YOU MAY NOT LOVE ME, BUT I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU! JUST GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING POSITIVE FOR US BOTH! PLEASE! I DON'T DESERVE THIS AND NEITHER DO YOU! GET REPUTABLE HELP, WHICH MEANS, NOT K! HUGS AND LOVE!
ReplyDeleteThat means get reputable help for the psychological mind fuck they have done to you!
ReplyDelete