Emotional

 I can't stand to be away from you. I had such a hard time. It is raw and painful all over again. It was done in such a cruel way. I was feeling numb and so sad. I suppose you never heard my messages. I basically offered my devotion, and support and cried and said that if you didn't want anything to do with me, I understood, but that I would always love you. I knew Something bad was going to happen after everyone acted so strangely. It would have happened ino matter how long I waited, but he knew I would call to ask about the surgery. I was also so relieved that I could call. It had never been fair to that point, I don't know why I should have thought it would be fair then. I was shaken up and was emotional.  They treated me as if I were some creepy criminal. All I could think later that I never wanted to feel like a stranger to you again. I felt fresh grief. The people in charge did not know how much I genuinely loved you. I would never want you turned away from me, if you wanted to see me. Of course, I have no real idea of your feelings, or would never be so presumptuous, but I just know if I were so honored to have you care about me; it would be my piece of Heaven on Earth.